Untouchable
by LauraLys
Summary: Sydney's younger sister Zoe gets assigned to help her in Palm Springs. Zoe's life is now in the hands of the Alchemists, but as she gets more and more attached to her new life she starts asking the most significant question of her world; Who are really the monsters in all of this? The vampires she shares her every day with, or the Alchemists trying to control her life?
1. First Day

Hey there! So I started this story a few months ago, but it never turned out as good as I'd hoped. After reading The Indigo Spell I got so many ideas and rewrote the entire story.

This takes place directly after TIS and it is written from Zoe's POV.

Disclaimer: it all belongs to Richelle Mead.

Enjoy!

As the needle touched my skin I tried not to flinch.

Getting inked hurt a lot more than I would have thought, but I kept my mouth shut knowing that no matter how much I complained, I'd never get any sympathy here.

I couldn't help wondering what my sister, Sydney, would be doing now if she knew I was coming to Palm Springs. Probably find some way to keep me at home, I guess.

I had been angry with her for a long time. When she'd first stolen my assignment I'd been furious she'd made me look weak in my father's and the other alchemists' eyes.

Seeing her at Christmas had changed my feelings though, I was still mad at her, but also understood why she'd acted like she had.

Anyone knew getting all the credit for a successful assignment was what we all wanted, and so when she'd said she wanted all the glory, it shouldn't have surprised me that much. Sydney just never struck me as the selfish type.

My sister had called Stanton and told her she was in desperate need of another alchemist in Palm Springs. I didn't blame her, as excited I was about going on my very first assignment, I was not looking forward to being around _them _all the time.

Right now Sydney was oblivious to the fact that I was arriving just this afternoon. It was very untraditionally planned, because there was in fact no one who knew of my arrival, it had been Stanton's and my father's decision to send me there. I was still an alchemist in training, a junior, but Sydney was going to act as my mentor.

"There you go" the man who had inked me said, and I sat up, wincing a bit at my stinging cheek.

Holding up a heart-shaped compact mirror I saw the rather beautiful golden lily, promising a life full of making my father proud. I know my sister usually followed the rules this life brought upon us, the only exception being when she'd helped fugitive Rose Hathaway last year, and I hoped despite our recent disagreements we could still make this work between us.

I noticed how the girl in the mirror stared back with alien eyes. They looked wide and alert, and I realized just how much going to Palm Springs also seemed to frighten me. I put the mirror away and put on a brave face. I wasn't about to let anyone see me scared.

"Zoe" my father called, and I instantly turned to him, tilting my head to one side showing off the tattoo.

"Hmm" was my father's only comment and I hoped it meant he was happy I was finally part of the group.

My mother stood leaning against the door, her arms wrapped around herself. She looked so fragile like that like one touch could make her shatter into a million pieces.

It was hard enough to have one daughter gone, and only being able to talk to her few times a month, losing me now too…it had to be unbearable.

I walked to where she was standing and she cupped my face in her hands. She looked at the tattoo with so much disgust, I almost pulled away, but when her eyes met mine they filled with love and tears.

"Tell Sydney to take real good care of you" she whispered, her voice hoarse, like she was fighting back tears.

"I will," I promised, my mom nodded causing the tears in her eyes to spill over, but she didn't move to wipe them away.

"It's time to go now" my father said his voice indifferent from when he had spoken before, and I felt like yelling at him. How could he act so cold when my beloved mother was so obviously broken?

But of course I didn't. I acted like a good little alchemist; I kept my mouth shut and did as I was told.

I mostly adored my father; he was smart and very well respected amongst the alchemists. Being Jared Sage's daughter was certainly going to help me gain some respect amongst the other alchemists.

But even behind all that adoration was a feeling of neglect. He had always seen Sydney as his favorite daughter, but in the light of recent events, I had gotten her place.

Whenever it came to the way he treated my mom however, I hated him. He was cold and distant, it made my heart ache to see her like this and having him act so apathetic around her broke something inside of me.

"And tell Sydney that I miss her" my mother spoke slowly, as if every word hurt to say out loud.

"Okay" I said, and hugged her "It's all going to be okay" I whispered into her hair and took one last breath of the wonderful smell of being home and safe.

I had never met a vampire in my life. Of course I'd been lectured about them from my father. I already knew they were disgusting, blood-drinking creatures.

Sydney had seemed reluctant about me meeting Jill and the others here. I suppose she was trying to keep me safe for as long as possible. I had to act strong though, I was going to have to pretend to be in control and not show my weakness.

Sydney and I got out of the car I had been giving at my arrival. Apparently Sydney's car had been damaged recently and we had to share mine, which meant Sydney had been given mine, since I didn't have a license yet. I looked at the apartment complex where Adrian Ivashkov lived. He was waiting inside along with the rest of our 'family'.

"Zoe" Sydney said before we walked inside. She'd stopped and so did I.

"Yes?" I asked looking back at the apartment and then at her face. She looked stressed but that was no wonder. We were about to walk inside a vampire's apartment. I couldn't ignore the fact that I was starting to feel queasy as well.

"These vampires…well they have been on their best behavior since we got here. I know you're scared and I know you probably hate them already…but try and be professional" she said. I hadn't expected her to say something like that, and her kind words took me by surprise. Had they been on their best behavior? What did that mean; they only killed one person a week?

"Of course I'll act professional. I am an alchemist" I said proudly and was surprised to here her melancholic voice respond.

"Yes you are."

"Look there's the mini Sage," a vampire with incredible green eyes and messy brown hair said, as Sydney and I walked inside Adrian Ivashkov's apartment. Sydney gave him a look, which clearly spoke _back off_. To my intense surprise the boy obeyed.

"I'm Adrian" he said, and gave me a smile. He reached out to shake my hand but my limps felt frozen. He looked at Sydney for just a second and then he gave me a polite nod, and took a few steps away.

"And that's Angeline, Eddie, Neil, and Jill" Sydney finished; they all smiled as she spoke their names. I made a mental note to write them down soon, so I wouldn't forget.

I made sure to stand close to Sydney. I couldn't help staring at these creatures in front of me. Some looked almost human like Eddie, Neil or Angeline, but then Jill and Adrian were more notably different.

As Sydney talked to the group, I tried to take in every motion she did, or word she said. In my eyes Sydney was the symbol of perfection, she knew how to dress and talk properly.

I knew that the key to becoming a great alchemist was doing everything the way she did it, without helping a fugitive escape prison obviously.

I made a promise to myself then that during my time in Palm Springs, when things got difficult, I would ask myself; what would Sydney do? Hopefully by doing so, I would soon be better at my job.

"How old are you?" I only picked up the question, because it was a new voice speaking.

"Zoe?" Sydney asked, and I realized the question had been pointed at me.

"Excuse me?" I asked, and Sydney smiled patiently.

"Jill was just asking how old you are," Sydney explained and my eyes found the girl.

She had light-brown curly hair, and jade colored eyes. She had a body like a super model, and was very tall. Something about her posture seemed at bit fragile though, and I noticed she couldn't be much older than I am.

"I'm fifteen" I spoke in a low voice, but only because I knew if I spoke any louder, my voice would give away just how frightened I really was.

"Me too" Jill said, smiling warmly at me "Are you excited about going to Amberwood?" I realized then, that the Moroi girl talking to me was really just trying to be friendly. But all I could think about was her being a vampire; I could just imagine how she would drink my blood in the middle of the night.

I felt dizzy just being in the same room as all these uhm, people. Since I had started training to become an alchemist, the most important rule had always been that vampires were unnatural, evil creatures who under all circumstances were not to be trusted.

Sydney placed a hand on my back, and I found myself holding my breath, and tried to relax a bit more.

I felt like the walls were closing in around me, and I grabbed hold of Sydney's hand to steady myself but it was too late. I felt my legs collapse under me, and watched the floor get closer and closer.

"Zoe?!" Someone shook my shoulder, and I blinked my eyes open, taking a few seconds to readjust to the light.

I was lying on the couch in Adrian's living room, but no one but Sydney was around.

"Zoe, are you all right?" Sydney's eyes were wide with panic and worry, and I instantly felt bad for scaring her like that.

"Yes, yeah I'm fine" I said sitting up; the room seemed to be spinning around, so I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly.

"You scared me" she breathed and looked more tired than ever before. Another wave of guilt passed through me.

"I don't know what happened, one moment I was fine and the next-"

"It's okay Zoe, you don't have to apologize. I know it can be very overwhelming at the beginning, but I _promise _you it will get better. You'll get more used to it" she spoke softly and I realized her words sounded exactly like what my mother would have said and tears welled up in my eyes.

"I'm still sorry" I said, then added "I miss mom" Sydney then hugged me and put her hand on my hair and stroked it.

"Sydney, I'm sorry about today, I don't know what happened. One moment I was fine, but then Jill started talking to me, and she's one of _them_, and I just freaked out!"

We were back in our room at Amberwood. I was still apologizing about today, the more time went by the more embarrassed I felt. So much for not being scared.

"Zoe stop apologizing, it's fine. When I first got here I almost fainted too" I knew it was a lie. Sydney had always been strong and she was just trying to make me feel better. I didn't comment on it though.

"Thanks Sydney, I want to be strong like you-I really do. It's just so…weird to have to spend all my time with vampires" I said, and as she nodded.

I couldn't help watching how sad her eyes looked. Was something bothering her? Earlier I thought she'd been nervous about me meeting everyone but now I realized maybe it was something else. I was going to have to find out.

"About Jill…" she began, her voice a bit hesitant.

"Yes?" I asked, a bit nervous. What about her? Was she really going to feed off me? My worst nightmare had always been a vampire drinking my blood.

"She really is a good girl, a good person. She is very talkative, e_specially_ when she's nervous. Does that remind you of someone?" she asked and I blushed. That sounded just like me.

"But she is a very good friend, and she'll back you up anytime. Give her a chance" Sydney said, and I almost felt like she could have read my mind about the blood sucking. I also noticed this was the second time today Sydney had been trying to convince me how nice these creatures were.

"I hate that you know me so well" I said, and Sydney half-smiled.

"Yeah well, there have to be some upsides being the oldest one of us" she said and then gave me a quick hug.

"Breathe," she reminded me and I took a deep breath. I felt much better being in this room, with no vampires walking around. It was nice to be able to catch my breath. With every second I had spent in the company of the vampires tonight, every breath I'd taken had felt like a struggle.

We were both lying in our beds. The room was dark and the only noise I could hear was my sister's breathing.

"Sydney? Are you asleep?" I whispered into the room.

"What's wrong?" she asked "Can't you sleep?" concern already showed in her voice.

"No I just…I wanted to say I'm sorry" I whispered and waited for her response. It came instantly.

"About what?" she asked, I started twirling a piece of brown hair around my finger.

"About the way I acted last time we were together. I should've talked to you when you called mom and asked for me. I've been acting like a child," I whispered and now Sydney waited before answering. I had a feeling she was considering what to say.

"Zoe" something about the way she said my name let me know that I was forgiven.

"You're fifteen. No one is expecting you to know how to handle a highly stressful situation like that. The fact that you're apologizing now just shows me how much you've grown the last few months" she paused and I let the words sink in.

"Last Christmas when you and dad were there in St. Louis I couldn't help thinking how much you've grown. Last time I saw you, you were a child. Now, at fifteen, you're already showing how strong you are" I could tell without actually seeing her face that she was smiling.

"I fainted" I pointed out and could feel myself blush. Saying it out loud made it feel so much more real.

To my intense surprise Sydney laughed.

"Zoe! Honey that's okay, you're human and you're still in training. You're allowed to make mistakes, and you're going to make mistakes, lots of them. But so have I, even dad has made mistakes. It's part of growing up, it's what makes us human," she said and hearing her say that made me appreciate her even more. _It's what makes us human_.

I wanted nothing more than to _stay _human.

"Thank you Sydney" I whispered and wrapped my arms around myself.

It was all going to be okay, if Sydney said so, I had to believe her. I still felt guilty about how I'd accused her of stealing my assignment last time I saw her but talking to her now, she seemed more than willing to forgive me.

I listened to Sydney's breathing, and felt my body relax. It had been a very long, very stressful day. But I surprised myself by finding it successful.

Maybe tomorrow would be easier, maybe I would learn to see the vampires as -maybe not exactly friends- but I hoped I'd soon learn how to handle being around them, as my sister seemed to have and maybe –just maybe-I would actually going to like staying here.


	2. Arrangements

**So before we begin I wanna say thank you to everyone who has reviewed, followed or added this story to their favorites. You guys are awesome! **

**Please review, and if you have any ideas for this let me know!**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns the VA and Bloodlines series.**

When I woke up the next morning Sydney wasn't there, but she had left me a note saying she'd be back soon.

I walked inside the bathroom and looked in the mirror again. It felt surreal to see the golden lily on my cheek. I had wanted this for so long and I had finally gotten inked. Being part of the alchemists meant being a part of a greater good, doing what was right, and protecting the humans who didn't know any better.

I felt energy and excitement fill me up and couldn't help singing as I showered.

When I got out of the bathroom Sydney was there. She smiled that strained smile she'd worn since I got here, and I again wondered what was bothering her.

"Good morning" she said and handed me a bag "I got you a bagel for breakfast. Canteen's closed during the holidays" as I sat down on my bed to eat, she started the coffeemaker.

"How did you sleep?" she asked but it was obvious she was just trying to make conversation. She kept tapping her fingers against the edge of the table where the coffeemaker was, and I didn't know if she was actually listening.

"Fine, expect you kinda kept me up late last night" she snapped her head in my direction her brown eyes, identical to mine, showed an emotion I couldn't quite read.

"What do you mean?" she asked, her voice shaking a bit.

"You talked in your sleep," I told her "I couldn't make out what you were saying, but you were definitely saying something" I watched her face fill with horror, but it only took a few seconds for her to mask the feeling.

"I'm sorry," she said "It's a bad habit," she explained. I nodded though I never recalled hearing her talk in her sleep before.

Sydney and I were driving to Adrian's apartment, apparently we were all going to meet and make up a new plan for how to do things now that Neil Raymond and I had joined the group. Adrian had already picked up the Dhampirs and Jill.

"What happened to your necklace?" I asked Sydney, as we were waiting for an old lady to cross the road.

"Huh?" Sydney had been focusing on the woman; she was dragging a miniature dog with her and walked very slow. Sydney started tapping the wheel.

"Your necklace" I said "What happened to it?" Sydney touched the new, wooden cross around her neck and a small smile filled her lips.

"I lost my old one. But I got a replacement," she told me, still smiling.

"You lost it? But you loved that thing!" I said not understanding how she said this so calmly. The old cross had been giving to Sydney from mom and dad when she'd first been inked.

"Yes, it was very unfortunate that I lost it. It made me very sad, but I also like this new one" she said. The old lady had finally crossed the street and Sydney drove on.

Sydney had changed. I don't know why it shocked me as much as it did, or why I hadn't realized it before just now, but well I was shocked. With Sydney being my sister I believed I knew her better than anyone, but I realized she had changed so much in the months she'd spend in Palm Springs. Losing her necklace would've destroyed the Sydney I knew, but now she acted like it wasn't that big a deal.

By the time we made it to Adrian's apartment I felt queasy again. Surely a part of it was meeting with the vampires, but also because I felt the situation had changed radically in the last few minutes.

When I had been on the plane to Palm Springs, and fear of going had ate up all the excitement I'd earlier felt, the only thing comforting me –and keeping me from having a panic attack- was knowing that at least I'd always have my sister. Sydney was well experienced and cared about me.

Now I didn't even feel like I knew her.

By the time Adrian opened the door for us, and we stepped inside I was already panicking. I tried to take deep breaths but nothing seemed to help. _Please don't faint again_, I mentally wished.

Everyone else was there and Adrian told us to sit down next to the vampires, Sydney took one glance at me and knew something was wrong. She pulled a chair for me and I gratefully sat down. Sydney took a place on the couch, but kept sending me nervous glances.

"So, now that we're here let's begin the meeting" Sydney said, not taking her eyes off of me. I had a feeling she wanted to speed this meeting up so that she could get me out of here as soon as possible.

I took another deep breath and tried to calm down.

Sydney had asked me to act professionally, I had acted like it should be a matter of course that I did. Now all my courage from yesterday had washed down the drain.

"I was thinking we could make a schedule for who will be with Jill and when. Since we now have three guardians maybe you could all take shifts, you know?" Sydney had already made a schedule and pulled out her laptop and showed them all.

"Could I get a glass of water?" I realized I'd interrupted Sydney but she didn't seem to mind, if anything, she looked relieved I was speaking.

"Of course" she said and started to get up, but Adrian waved her off.

"No don't get up, you guys keep doing your guardian stuff. Zoe if you'll follow me" Adrian got up and looked at me expectantly.

I moved my eyes from him to Sydney. She gave me a small nod of encouragement and it took all my strength to actually follow the vampire into another room.

Yesterday was the first time I'd ever met a vampire. Today was the first time I was alone with one.

Adrian hummed as he pulled out a glass from one of the cupboards. He filled it with water, and handed it to me with a smile. I considered testing the water for strange chemicals before drinking it, but then I realized just how much I was letting my fear of the vampires get to me, and drank the entire glass without hesitation.

"Another?" Adrian asked, and I nodded. He took the glass and refilled it for me. I drank again.

Adrian never struck me as the silent type of guy and I wondered why he wasn't saying anything. Was he thinking of a way to drink my blood? Or was he simply just trying to be nice and give me some space?

"Thank you" I said, realizing I was going to have to be the one to speak first.

"You're welcome," he said "You look better now. You were looking kinda pale before" to my intense surprise he actually looked concerned. I couldn't help asking myself why in the world he cared how I was.

"Yeah it's a lot to take in at first. You're actually the first vampire I have ever met. This is actually my very first mission ever, I was really afraid to go here, and now suddenly it just hit me that I was in a room with vampires and I got scared. Not as scared as before of course, I mean at least I didn't faint today, I just-"

"Wow, Sydney was right" Adrian interrupted me, and he was grinning. I didn't get what was so funny.

"About what?" I asked, thinking back at what I'd just said.

"You're just like Jill with the babbling" he said and despite being embarrassed that I had just been speaking mindlessly, I wasn't sure how I liked being compared to a Moroi.

"It's a bad habit," I finally said, Adrian was watching me with an amused expression.

"Well we all have bad habits don't we? At least it's not a terrible one, you could've been smoking or something much worse," he said, and it was suddenly impossible for me to keep a smile off my face. How come he was being so _nice_?

As far as I knew he was supposed to be an unnatural, strange creature. I had been taught to feel disgusted just by looking at him.

But the vampire in front of me with the big green eyes had actually made me feel better about myself, less self-conscious. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Right now I didn't feel sure about anything really.

"Well thanks for the water," I said, he gave me another smile and I followed him back into the living room.

As soon as we returned I thought I saw Sydney relax. Was she also afraid he'd want to drink my blood?

I would never know because just then my phone rang. I walked outside hoping it'd be my mom. As I answered it disappointment filled me. It was Stanton.

"We want to arrange a meeting with you" Stanton told me "I'm coming to Palm Springs"

That took me by surprise; as far as I knew it was usually the alchemist in the field who'd have to be the one travelling.

"You want to meet here? In Palm Springs?" I asked my voice full of the surprise I felt.

"Yes" Stanton told me the address we should meet her at, and at what time to be there. I didn't know the place, but surely Sydney would know the town pretty well by now.

"Okay. We'll be ready for you," I told Stanton.

"Actually miss Sage…don't bring your sister. I wish only to speak with you" and with that Stanton hang up.

If I had been surprised before there was no word for how I felt now. Why on earth wouldn't they want Sydney coming? She was the most experienced one of the two of us, and if there were any developments of the case she'd be the one to know. Why would they need me to come alone?

But now as I was asked to come alone I couldn't help worry maybe it was something different. Would it be possible there was something they might not want Sydney knowing about? That seemed highly unlikely to me, seeing as Sydney was the far more experienced one when it came to alchemist business.

"Zoe?" I turned around to find Eddie watching me.

"Yes?" I asked, turning to look at him.

"Who was that on the phone?" Eddie asked looking concerned.

"That was just Stanton checking up on us" I said with a shrug, no need to tell him all the details.

"That's nice," he said. I responded simply.

"It's her job to do so." My voice sounded a lot more bitter than I would have liked it to, but I suddenly felt annoyed with Stanton.

"Did she say something to upset you?" he asked studying my face.

"Why would you ask that?" I said, not realizing just how much my face was giving away.

Carly used to make fun of me when I was younger, saying I was too bad an actress to even pull off a lie. I used to get angry and cry, but it was actually true. I was a terrible liar, and I hated it. I could never hide an emotion no matter how much I wanted to. Sydney was always able to mask her emotions and not show her true feelings. I hoped to someday be able to pull that off as effortless as she did, too.

For a moment I worried he might've heard what I was thinking about, but knew I was being paranoid. Vampires can't read your mind.

"You look kinda flustered," he said, and I suddenly felt embarrassed.

"She wants me to meet with her in Palm Springs" I told him, unsure if I should actually be telling him this.

"I don't see the problem in that" Eddie said, and I sighed.

"She wants me to meet with her alone. She specifically told me Sydney wasn't invited, it bothers me" I said and watched Eddie's frown build.

"That _is _strange. Doesn't all alchemist business usually go through Sydney?" Eddie asked, saying out loud what was already on my mind.

"Yes, it _always _does. Something just doesn't feel right about it, I mean why the sudden change?"

"You definitely shouldn't go alone," Eddie sounded determined and I was actually glad he said that. I had just been thinking the same. I wanted Sydney to come with me.

"I'll come with you" Eddie said, and I stopped mid-sentence.

"Exactly, I should tell her-wait what? No! You can't come!" I said, astonished he'd even consider that.

"Why not?" Eddie asked, and I had a thousand reasons on my mind.

Because he was a Dhampir and this was alchemist business, because I didn't want him to hear what Stanton had to say, because the thought of being in a car with him- so close to one of _them _-made me feel faint right here. Of course I could never tell him that.

"Sydney would never let you borrow her car," I told him; it was the only legitimate reason I could come up with.

"I thought it was _your _car" Eddie said, and I bit my lip. Damn. I'd hoped he didn't know that.

"I'll drive myself. It'll be fine" I said and tried to shrug it off like it was no big deal. Eddie wasn't fooled though, and studied me for a moment.

"Do you even have a license?" he asked.

No.

"Of course I do" I lied, but he didn't look convinced.

"Look, Zoe, you can't go alone, I think you know that. And if Sydney can't come, I think I'm your best option. Angeline has to study and it's Neil's night to guard Jill" I sighed audibly. Mostly because what he was saying sounded pretty logical, and just like my sister I responded to logic. Plus he was a guardian, if anything happened he'd keep me safe.

"Fine" I said through clenched teeth, for some reason this made him smile.

Then something else occurred to me "Why did you come out here anyways?"

"Sydney says it time to go back now," he said, and started walking back "Are you coming?" he asked when he noticed I wasn't moving.

"Uhm yeah, you go ahead, I'll be right there" I told him. He shrugged and walked back to the apartment.

The phone call had given me a good excuse to get out of the house and as I stood in the parking lot, I let myself take a nice, deep breath of the wonderful evening air.

It was the first time I was alone since I'd arrived yesterday. I felt like I could finally relax and think freely. I didn't have to pretend to be in control or anything. I could just be…me.

For a second I imagined taking the car and just keep driving. Away from Palm Springs, away from vampires and strange meetings and everything and just disappear.

Of course I dismissed that thought immediately, I wasn't going to run, I couldn't. For what it's worth I still had my sister at least and I wasn't about to abandon my alchemist duties.

I closed my eyes, and took another breath before returning to the apartment.

I was happy to go home. I desperately needed the sleep and I had a feeling tomorrow was going to be a long day.


	3. Meeting

"Isn't she just a beauty?" Sydney asked. Excitement filled her eyes as she took in the car in front of her, which she'd named Latte.

"I guess?" I said. To me it was a brown Subaru, but Sydney acted like it was the best thing ever happening to her.

"I didn't think she'd make a full recovery, you know? I was so worried" If I hadn't known about my sister's affection for cars I would've worried she'd lost her mind.

Our mother worked as a mechanic and Sydney used to love watching her work. She could stay in the garage with mom for hours on end. Me? I lost interest after five minutes.

I had personally bought a baby blue 1963 VW beetle, which had not impressed Sydney. When she had asked why I'd bought it my response had been it looked cute. She had rolled her eyes.

"Well I suppose you were real lucky then," I said, leaning against the car.

"Zoe" she sighed "It took a lot more than luck to save-What are you doing?!" she gasped.

It took me a moment to realize her reaction was caused by me leaning against the car, and I instantly jumped off it.

"She's just got back from the mechanics! She's in no shape to be used for your comfort!" Sydney chastised, and it took all my effort not to laugh.

Just then Jill, Neil and Angeline arrived all caring heavy bags, and my smile instantly disappeared.

We were all going to be staying at Clarence's for the holidays. Spending Christmas with a bunch of vampires was not something I was looking forward to.

I had asked Sydney if we could get a hotel, but she said it was of outmost importance we stayed close to Jill. She was right, of course. Sydney had told me I was getting my own room, which I was thankful for. Sharing a room with a vampire was not something I was mentally prepared for.

While Neil put the bags in the car, Sydney turned to me.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay driving on your own?" she asked, a line of worry showed on her forehead.

"I'm not going alone. Eddie's going to be there too" I tried to sound convincing, but she saw right through it.

"If you say so…" Sydney said, clearly not comfortable with me going alone.

"I'm sure I'll be fine" I assured her. She smiled at that, and I hoped it meant she believed me.

"What is it you're doing again?" She asked. I searched my head for something to tell her. Obviously I couldn't tell her I was secretly meeting Stanton.

Eddie saved me just then as he walked up to us.

"Hey" he said, and then looked at Jill inside the car "Is she okay?"

For some reason this made Sydney smile "She's fine"

"Good. You ready to go?" Eddie asked me, I nodded. The sooner I got away from Sydney the better. There was no way I was going to be able to lie to her.

"Let's go then" Eddie said "See you later Sydney" before Sydney could speak another word we left. I had a feeling Eddie felt just as guilty about not telling her what we were doing as I was.

We started driving in silence. I caught myself pressing against the side of the car trying to be as physically far away from the dhampir next to me as the small space would allow.

I had a feeling Eddie noticed, but he never mentioned it. I searched my mind for things to say and start a conversation, but my mind was blank.

I was too nervous about this whole thing- mostly sitting this close to a vampire- but also about meeting with Stanton.

"So" Eddie finally said "How do you like Palm Springs?"

"It's okay" I shrugged "I'm glad we're still in the country," I said. Eddie nodded.

"Have you ever been on an assignment outside the US?" Eddie asked

"No. I, um, just joined the alchemists," the look on Eddie's face told me he knew this already.

"It's cheaper to call my mom," I explained and Eddie's usually fierce expression softened.

"Do you miss her a lot?" he asked, and a lump formed in my throat just talking about her and I responded by a simple nod.

"Yeah I miss my mom too," Eddie's voice was heartbreaking.

I guess I never thought about the fact that a vampire- a blood drinking evil creature- would have a mother. I remembered what Sydney had said when I'd arrived in Palm Springs. She'd told me vampires are a lot more like us than what we've always been told. I'd thought she'd gone momentarily insane, but now looking at Eddie's face I saw…vulnerability, which was something I thought I'd never see on someone claimed to be a monster's face.

I felt sorry for him then. He had been away a long time. I had only been away from my mother a few days but I missed her so much already I'd been crying myself to sleep last night.

The way he looked right now was almost human.

Almost.

Another thing occurred to me as I watched Eddie's face. His vulnerability from before was well masked now, and he wore the fierce look he always seemed to wear. But right then I realized Eddie probably never let anyone see how he felt.

The slip-up wasn't something he'd meant for me to notice. I hadn't wanted to see it, and so I pretended I hadn't.

"So what do we tell Sydney when she asks what we've been doing?" I asked. I wanted to change the subject as I realized I was beginning to feel sorry for a vampire.

"What do you mean?" Eddie asked, looking like the change of subject suited him just fine.

"Well if Stanton didn't want her to come she probably doesn't want Sydney knowing about us meeting with her"

Eddie looked thoughtful for a moment "Well…I suppose we could tell her I was teaching you how to drive"

"She'd never believe that" I said. There was no way I'd willingly get in a car with a vampire if it wasn't of outmost importance. Sydney knew that.

"Why not? Do you know how to drive a car?" Eddie's voice was filled with surprise.

"No" I sighed, "It's just that we don't willingly interact with vampires," I said. Eddie looked like he was about to argue, but thought better of it.

"Well what else are we going to tell her?" Eddie asked. He had a point; I tried thinking of something else to tell Sydney but came up with no good reason as to why I'd willingly be sitting in this car.

_Then why are you, Zoe?_

I ignored the nagging voice in my head, and let out a defeated sigh.

"Fine. I'll tell her you were teaching me how to drive" I looked out the window, but from the corner of my eye I noticed Eddie watching me. When I turned to look at him, his eyes were firmly on the road again.

"She asked me to give you guys a chance when I got here" I told him "Maybe I can just say I was making an effort" I didn't like to make it sound like I was better than I really was, but in this case it was necessary

"You do realize what this means right?"

I arched an eyebrow at Eddie "What?"

"I'll have to teach you how to drive"

We arrived at the address Stanton had given me, and I was surprised to find it to be a diner in the middle of the desert.

Eddie checked the address, but confirmed we had to be at the right place.

As we entered the diner I wasn't surprised to see that we were the only ones here.

We sat down in a booth, and after a moment of hesitation I sat down beside Eddie.

As we waited for Stanton to arrive I felt my heartbeat pick up. I had been worried about this meeting ever since Stanton had called me.

I wasn't sure how she'd react to me bringing not only a vampire, but also something much worse in the eye of an alchemist: a dhampir.

The dhampirs were considered worse than Moroi. There was something even more unnatural about a hybrid created from humans mating with vampires.

I started writhing my hands, and Eddie glanced at me nervously.

"Are you okay?"

I had no chance to answer because just then Stanton stepped inside the dingy diner.

I got up from where I was sitting as she approached. Her first reaction to Eddie was surprise, but then as she took a closer look at him recognition showed on her face, and her lips turned into a tight line.

"Miss Sage" she spoke my name in a hard tone, as she and I sat down.

"Hello Ma'am" my voice sounded small, and I cleared my throat "You remember Eddie Castile?"

I gestured to Eddie who smiled at her. Stanton gave a curt nod.

"I only expected to see _you_," Stanton's voice didn't hide her dismay at seeing Eddie here.

"I was afraid to go alone" it wasn't exactly a lie, but not the entire truth either "With everything going on lately I didn't feel safe"

Stanton looked like she believed me, and I let out a silent sigh of relief.

"Well" she started "The reason why I didn't want you to bring your sister is mainly that I need to talk to you about her"

"Oh?" was all I managed. Eddie sat up straighter beside me, and all my earlier worries came rushing back.

"I want you to know that we have no proof that the allegations against her are true, but if they are…action is required. Effective immediately" I didn't like the way she said 'action.' It made it sound like something very bad was going to happen to my sister.

"What are the allegations exactly?" my hands were shaking, so I hid them under the table. A servant came by and Stanton ordered coffee. I –and Eddie it seemed- was too anxious to drink anything.

"Your sister has been accused of being involved with a vampire"

"Isn't that her job?" I asked. I mean yes we did spend a lot more time around vampires than most alchemists did, but I believed it was necessary in this case.

"Not the kind of involvement she is practicing. A witness claims to have seen your sister…_kissing _a vampire" I froze. My head was spinning, what she was saying was the most stupid thing I'd ever heard.

"That's ridiculous!" I blurted before I could stop myself "Uhm, Ma'am"

Stanton's coffee arrived, and she calmly took a sip, driving me crazy.

"Well we have an eyewitness claiming to have seen her kissing a vampire in Malibu"

"And when was this 'kiss' supposed to have happened? I've been with her all weekend and she's been acting normal, Ma'am," I had actually noticed Sydney changing, but I knew better than to say that out loud now.

"Actually, Miss Sage, on the day you arrived"

My heart sank.

On the day I arrived? The day I had arrived I'd spent sitting in Sydney's room at Amberwood, waiting for her to return from wherever she was. She didn't know of my arrival, and so I didn't bother asking her where she'd been when she finally did show up…

"Well then the allegations are definitely wrong. It can't be Sydney. When I arrived at Amberwood Sydney was sitting in her room, studying. We spend all day together" My protective instinct had taken over, and the lie slipped flawlessly off my lips before I had a chance to stop it.

Stanton's eyes widened, and it was clear she hadn't expected me to say that.

"At what time did you arrive in Palm Springs?"

"At 10'oclock in the morning, Ma'am"

Stanton looked like she was taking in this new information. Eddie's eyes caught mine for a moment and I knew he was well aware of my lie. I bit my lower lip and prayed he stayed silent, Eddie gave me a barely noticeable nod, but it was enough to instantly reassure me he'd keep quiet.

"Miss Sage if I go back to the office with this news the allegations against your sister will most likely be reconsidered. Are you sure about this?" she looked me in the eye, and it was impossible for me to look away. She was practically asking me whether it was the truth or I was lying to protect my sister.

I managed to keep my voice steady as I answered "Absolutely"

"Very well" Stanton sighed and did not look convinced "I must ask you though to keep your eyes open. If she starts acting…strange around the vampires- Mr. Ivashkov particularly- let us know" for a moment her words left me baffled. Playboy Adrian Ivashkov? That had to be some sick joke; Adrian Ivashkov was probably the last person I'd ever thought I'd have to worry about dating my sister. Surely they were mistaken.

Then I realized what she'd said, and I felt my stomach churn.

"You mean like…_spy _on my sister?" I asked, not hiding my revolt at this.

"Spying is a strong word…just keep your eyes open. Stay focused"

"Yes, Ma'am" I said well knowing it was the only acceptable answer I could give. Stanton rose from her chair then.

"I must go now" she said, then she put a hand on my shoulder "You're a good girl, Zoe. Keep it up" and with that she turned and walked out.

The second she was out I felt myself collapse into my seat. No, I told myself. No, there was no way those allegations could be right it was probably just a cruel rumor. I turned to Eddie and felt like I was going to throw up when I saw the look on his face.

"Was…was Stanton _right_?!" he didn't answer but he didn't have to.

I got up and felt as if the world was spinning. Without another word I walked back to the car.

"I just lied to my superior" I said when we were back in the car. My face was buried in my hands, and my words came out muffled.

"You were protecting you sister. I think it was very noble of you" His words didn't comfort me the least.

"Noble? It was _wrong_! And I was terrified!"

"It's a good thing I was with you then" Eddie said, his words took me by surprise and I turned to look at him.

"What? No it was not!" I said, through clenched teeth "Didn't you hear what Stanton said? She's worried about Sydney being too close to you guys! How do you think it made me look when I showed up with _a vampire_?" just thinking about it made me feel horrible. Eddie clearly didn't get the importance of the situation.

"You're brand new to the assignment, you've just joined the alchemists. There's no way Stanton would read into that" Eddie shrugged it off, and I felt my anger rise.

"Of course she'd read into that! I haven't been an alchemist for long, true, but I've grown up in their world. I know how they operate, they read into everything!" I grew more and more exasperated for every word Eddie said.

"Well you did a good job protecting Sydney" Eddie glanced at me meaningfully like he was trying to tell that was the important thing.

"Yeah well, did she deserve it? Sydney I mean? Has she been lying to me?" my voice was thick with bitterness. I didn't let on what worried me most, which was a part of me that was afraid Stanton had been right.

Stanton was accusing my sister of having kissed a vampire, well actually not just a vampire but Adrian Ivashkov.

I wasn't sure I was going to be able to handle this, and so for some reason I had gone into denial. I wasn't going to believe anything anyone said about my sister before having spoken to her.

Ever since I'd arrived in Palm Springs, Sydney's behavior had surprised me. At first I had just thought Sydney was doing a great job of getting along with the vampires.

But lately I had started worrying. Sydney managed to act surprisingly normal around the vampires it made her look like she didn't mind their presence the same way I did…was it possible she didn't mind it at all?

But now that I'd talked to Stanton I couldn't help worrying if it really was an act. If that was the case my sister deserved an Oscar for her performance…though I feared it was not.

I had never before wondered about what it was like spending that much time with vampires, but only because it had never been relevant to me before this. I had always just believed that vampires would always disgust us.

The possibility of actually becoming used to being around a vampire…well it had simply never crossed my mind. Of course it hadn't, just thinking about it made me feel stupid for thinking something so silly.

"Lying is a strong word" Eddie said finally "Would it really be that bad if Sydney was comfortable being around vampires?"

"Yes" I said responding instinctively "it would be very, _very _bad"

"But-"

"Eddie" I cut him off "There's no but. Ever since we were young we've been taught that vampires are unnatural, disgusting creatures. We are to dislike any sort of interaction with them. If Sydney somehow felt…differently it would be a perfect reason for the alchemists to send her…away"

"Send her away?" Eddie asked, "Like they would fire her?"

"You don't get fired when you're an alchemist," I said drily.

"But what would they do to her then? They wouldn't _punish_ her would they?"

"Of course they would" I said, surprised he'd even ask "If Sydney was…hypothetically getting too close to a vampire, she'd be abandoning her job, her beliefs, not to mention everything our father has ever worked for"

"But Sydney shouldn't be punished for…being who she is"

"If that's who she is then maybe she should"

Eddie actually took his eyes off the road to stare at me. I realized how harsh my words had sounded, but didn't saying it.

"Zoe. I really hope you don't mean that" he said, and I crossed my arms.

"I do mean that. If Sydney were to be like that then she wouldn't be doing her job. I know my sister. Her job's important to her. She would want to be re-educated if she had lost her way" I said, I couldn't believe how I could speak about my own sister like that, and I think the only reason I was able to was because logic was taking over my mind as it usually did when I was freaking out.

I'm sure Stanton- and I- was worried for nothing. Sydney had been doing a great job since arriving in Palm Springs.

"_Re-educated_?!" Eddie asked, disbelief filling his voice.

"Well look at this way. How did you feel when Jill died? When you know you were too late to save her? Wouldn't you have liked to make up for it?"

"Of course. That's why I'm here, I'm protecting her"

"Exactly. Going to reeducation is like that. Making up for your mistakes"

Eddie didn't say much for the rest of the drive. I was happy he didn't, because I didn't trust the words coming out of my mouth. What was I talking about? Re-education was the scariest thing I could imagine. I would much rather go there myself than ever have to see my sister do.

We arrived at Clarence's after an hour of driving. My whole body felt heavy, and I walked straight to the room I'd been given.

I went to bed early without having eating dinner, but as I lay in my bed that night I couldn't sleep. Stanton's words rang in my head, loud and irreversible.

_Your sister has been accused of being involved with a vampire. _

I wish it would all go away. I wish I could just go to sleep…but mostly I wished it wasn't true.

Tomorrow I was going to have to talk to Sydney. I wanted to know the truth whatever it was. I just had to know.

Tomorrow, I promised myself.

**Hope you enjoyed! Please review! **


	4. Zoe

**So first of all thank you guys for reviewing/following this story! It makes me so **_**so**_** happy! **

**This chapter is written from **_**Sydney's **_**POV. It's slightly shorter than the others have been, and it's basically just talking, but this gives an idea of how Sydney might be feeling about Zoe being in Palm Springs. **

**Disclaimer: The VA and Bloodlines belongs to Richelle Mead. **

**Enjoy! **

Adrian leaned forward to kiss me again, but just before his lips touched mine he leaned back and sighed.

"Sage" he said, "Where's your head at?" I looked away guiltily. For the first time ever, even Adrian hadn't been able to kiss away my worries.

"I'm just worried about Zoe," I whispered. Just saying her name made me worry she might somehow overhear this conversation. Adrian cupped my face and forced me to look at him.

"Why? Do you think she suspects something?" Adrian's tone was serious. _Too _serious, I felt bad about spending our alone time like this.

"I don't think so," I said after a moment of silence "It's just that she notices everything. It's her job and she wants this so badly. She's not just going to turn her head if she does find out. She's going to tell"

"But she's your sister -your _actual _sister- don't you think…maybe she'd care about you too much to do something like that?"

Ever since I had taken this assignment instead of Zoe -only for the benefit of protecting her- Zoe had hated me. She hadn't wanted to talk to me when I called, and it was only when I accidentally ran into her and my father in St. Louis that Zoe had started talking to me again.

It had left a wound in our relationship. One I wasn't quite sure how to heal. Especially not with this new, tattooed Zoe who'd do anything to make her father proud…I just hoped that didn't include breaking my heart.

"I don't know," I told Adrian truthfully "I hope so"

"Do you know who she reminds me of?" Adrian asked.

"Who?" To me Zoe reminded me of my father reincarnated, but Adrian had never met him and so I couldn't think of anyone else.

"You" Adrian told me, and his expression grew amused as he watched my surprised one.

"_Me_?"

"Yeah you…or actually maybe you two months ago" he said "You've changed a lot since you got here"

"Was I really that bad?" I asked, thinking back to when Zoe had fainted. Zoe had been _terrified _that day…and ever since_. _

"Well no, actually you were never that bad. I was actually thinking she reminded me of Keith, but figured you wouldn't like that"

"I don't. Don't ever say that again" thinking of Keith and what he'd done to my other sister, Carly, always infuriated me. I did not want anyone comparing Zoe to him.

"I won't" Adrian promised. I leaned forward and rested my head on his shoulder.

Zoe being here was so stressful. Whenever she was in the room I was terrified I'd say something I shouldn't, or act inappropriately towards Adrian or Jill.

Adrian's question rang in my ears, and it bothered me that I didn't know the answer to it. Would Zoe tell? I hated not knowing the answer to a question. I always knew the answer to everything, except when it came to people.

People were unpredictable, you could never be sure how someone would act, and it made me nervous.

Adrian brushed a strand of hair away from my face, and I closed my eyes. Everything had been going so well between us. I had finally acknowledged my feelings towards him, and wanted to be with him now more than ever before, and then Zoe had showed up and everything had gotten so messy.

I didn't like lying to my sister. Neither did I like the fact that telling her the truth would turn her against me.

Zoe was fragile, and I felt like with every hit she had to take she'd break a little. I also wanted her to trust me, but I had a feeling she knew I was hiding something.

"Zoe… she was supposed to go on this assignment, you know to Palm Springs" I wasn't sure why I was telling Adrian this, but for once I had just spoken my mind without considering what I was saying.

"Yes…" Adrian said, not sure why I was mentioning this "I know that. We were quite surprised when you showed up instead" he then added, "Pleasantly that is, of course"

That almost made me smile.

"But do you know why?" Adrian shook his head in response, and I took a deep breath.

"That night when Stanton and some other alchemists came to our house they were going to ink Zoe," I said. Adrian's green, green eyes studied me as I went on.

"But I managed to convince them not to. I told them how sending me would be much more clever than sending Zoe. I was far more experienced and already inked"

"Those reasons seem very rational" he told me "But that's not the only reason" it wasn't a question. He just knew me that well, I realized.

"No. I wanted to protect her. I didn't want her in this world…Adrian? I think…I think I failed her" saying that out loud brought tears to my eyes, but I angrily blinked them away.

I had been thinking that very thing ever since I saw a golden lily on my sister's pale cheek. I would've have done anything to keep the tattoo of it, and let her have the freedom she deserved to make her own choices in life. Seeing that lily on her cheek meant everything I had wanted for her, everything I'd fought for it was all gone. The battle was lost.

"Don't say that" Adrian whispered, and grabbed both of my hands in his "You did everything you possibly could to protect her"

"But I called Stanton and asked for help! I should've known they would send her. I should've somehow-"

"Sydney. Listen to me" his green eyes caught hold of my brown ones, and I couldn't look away.

"There was no way you could've foreseen the way the alchemist would react. How can anyone ever? You did a great job protecting her, and her being here doesn't mean you failed"

"What does it mean then?" my voice sounded weak, but I didn't care right now.

"It means…it means that they won the first match. But I'm sure you'll win the second. Zoe's not going to act cold and distant forever. It's going to take time, but I'm sure she'll come around. Just think about what all the crazy things we've learned from Marcus Finch! He could help us get Zoe out!" Adrian's eyes turned excited, but I instantly shook my head.

"No! That's too dangerous! And my father's got her way too brainwashed for something like that"

"Well I don't know, I mean you came around eventually," Adrian argued. I responded with a sad smile.

"Zoe's a lot more of an alchemist than I ever was," I said in a voice filled with sorrow "And that's not a compliment."

I looked down at our laced fingers. I knew I was playing with fire, but some part of me had learned not to care about what other people thought of me. When I had first started to question the alchemists and had worked with Marcus Finch it had scared me to death, but in my heart I a part of me have known I was doing the right thing, I was doing something I _needed _to do, and it hadn't felt wrong.

Zoe would never do anything like that. Zoe had been frightened by the thought of staying in Clarence's house for the holidays, and she had asked if we could stay in a hotel instead. I had told her no, and told her the reason was Jill.

I also knew though that the reason was also because I didn't want to be away from everyone for that long. I'd miss them. They were my friends now.

If Zoe knew that what would she have done?

"Sydney" the rare use of my name made me look back up at Adrian, and I realized why he'd said it. I heard the sound of a car door slamming, and instantly jumped off the couch we'd been sitting on. Zoe was back with Eddie from wherever they'd been today.

Eddie opened the door for her, and as she stepped inside I instantly knew something was wrong. Her face showed a mix of emotions I couldn't read, and my instincts took over. I wanted to know what was wrong with her.

"Zoe? What happened? Are you okay?" then the strangest thing happened. Zoe's face turned neutral as she looked up at me, and just like that she'd hid her emotions from the world to see.

"Yeah. Fine, why?" I was still flabbergasted from her expression. Zoe was never any good at hiding her emotions, or lying or anything like that. I loved that about her, it made her innocent.

"Sydney?" she said, raising an eyebrow at me, and I managed to get myself together.

"Oh uh nothing. What have you guys been up to?"

Her eyes narrowed "Eddie was teaching me how to drive" her tone was a note higher than its usual, and I wondered if she was lying, but when she didn't start rambling on I realized I was being paranoid.

"That's great! You've always been begging me to" I managed a smile. Zoe smiled back but it didn't reach her eyes.

Maybe she was just worn out from spending the day with a vampire, I thought. Even if Zoe really wanted to learn how to drive, it must've been hard on her to actually go and spend that much time with one of them.

"Yeah…" her smile faded "I'm actually really tired. I think I'm going to go to bed early" she started walking towards her room, but my voice made her stop.

"Dinner's almost ready" there was a note of desperation in my voice that I hadn't expected. I wanted her to stay.

She turned around and gave me the saddest smile I'd ever seen on her face before.

"I'm not hungry" and with that she walked to her room.

I felt like a piece of my heart broke as I watched her walk away. I turned around to face Eddie, ready to ask him if he knew what was bothering her, but Eddie spoke before I had a chance to even get a word out.

"She doesn't deserve this you know" Eddie said in an angry voice.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused by his sudden change of mood. When he and Zoe had walked in his mood had seemed light, and he had been chatting to Adrian.

Now all of that was gone, and he approached me with an angry expression.

"You guys lying to her" he said, "She really seems like a good person. It's not fair to her"

I was so shocked by Eddie defending Zoe it took me a minute to form a response.

"I know that. She's my sister, she's a _great _person" the confusion was clear in my voice.

"But Eddie you must understand why we cannot tell her" I continued "She'd turn me in, she'd tell Stanton about Adrian and I, and I'd be send to re-education"

Eddie seemed even angrier with that, though I was not sure what I could have said to infuriate him further.

"Maybe you should have a little faith in her" he spoke in a voice so bitter it made me take a step back.

"Eddie what makes you think you can educate me about her? She's _my _sister. I love her, I know her, and I want her to be happy"

"But you don't trust her?" Eddie asked. Eddie took a deep breath, and when he continued he seemed to have calmed down a bit.

"Listen, Sydney, I'm not trying to be an ass. All I am saying is that if she would be given the choice between sending you to re-education or protecting you, I'm pretty sure she'd choose the latter"

"Okay" I said, not sure why Eddie was telling me this now. Why did he care what I did or didn't tell Zoe "Is this about Jill?" I suddenly asked, but Eddie shook his head.

"What? No? Why would you say that? This is about you trusting Zoe," he seemed earnestly surprised by the mention of her, so I believed him.

"Okay" I said again, not sure what to tell him "I'll…I'll consider telling her" This seemed to be the response Eddie was hoping for, and his expression turned from harsh to guardian-fierce, which I much preferred.

As Eddie left to get ready for dinner Adrian, who had surprisingly been silent throughout the conversation, walked over to where I was.

"What was that about?" he asked, but I was just as astonished by the scene as he had was.

"I don't know," I said earnestly.


	5. Paris

**Hey guys! We're back to Zoe's POV again, hope you'll enjoy it :) Please review!**

* * *

I didn't sleep very well that night.

My head was spinning and Stanton's words were still loud in my head. I had felt so sure earlier about confronting Sydney, but now I couldn't help wondering maybe there was a reason she'd kept it a secret.

Had she expected me to go straight to the alchemists? Did she not trust me?

I don't which made me the saddest: the thought that she didn't trust me not to tell on her, or the thought that I didn't trust myself not to either.

I sat up in the bed. I couldn't just lie here anymore; I got up and put on a hoodie. My body was begging me to go lie down again, but the wonderful oblivion of sleep seemed like a luxury I wasn't allowed.

I tiptoed downstairs and walked inside the living room. To my surprise it was brightly lit.

Jill, Adrian and Eddie looked up at me as I walked in.

"Hey" Jill said in a soft voice "Couldn't sleep?"

I shook my head. I suddenly felt embarrassed only wearing the worn hoodie and the plaid pajamas shorts I always slept in.

"We're playing scrabble. Would you like to join us?" Jill's eyes were wide and friendly. I hesitated a bit, but then sat down on the couch.

"Can I watch?" I asked. I was feeling too tired to play. Jill nodded and smiled at that. She probably hadn't expected me to stay at all.

I was surprised to find how fun Adrian and Jill were to watch. Jill won time after time, it was almost as if she could read Adrian's mind.

Adrian didn't seem to mind though, he watched her happily every time she laughed or smiled and mostly he reminded me of an older brother to her.

Eddie sat down in the couch beside me. He sat a bit closer than I would have liked with him being a vampire, and I pulled my legs up and rested my chin against them.

"How are you?" Eddie asked. Adrian and Jill were completely entranced by their game.

I shrugged "Okay, I guess"

I was far from okay, but I didn't want Eddie knowing that. Eddie gave a small nod like he knew there was more to it than I let on. He didn't push me though, and I was happy he didn't. I had lied so much today it would've been impossible for me to keep going, and pretend to be fine when I felt like my world was shattering.

"I think it was very noble of you to protect her like that" Eddie's voice was barely a whisper, and I had a feeling he didn't want the Moroi hearing us. I kept my voice low as well as I responded.

"You already said that" I reminded him, but he just smiled.

"Yes" he said, "I did tell you that, but did you hear me?" I turned to him, surprised. His brown eyes were watching me, and at first I couldn't form a response. He must trust me, I realized, otherwise he wouldn't try to make me feel better.

"I heard you know," I whispered. He smiled, and got up from the couch.

"Good. I'm going to go to bed now. Sweet dreams Zoe" he said, and walked away. Even though I was alone now, he had somehow managed to make me feel a little less lonely.

* * *

I wasn't going to confront Sydney right away, I decided the next morning. Right now I was feeling so confused about everything. I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to go through that conversation, or the consequences that might follow.

Sydney and I had decided to drive to Palm Springs. She needed some last minute Christmas gifts, and I needed to get out of the house.

"The library?" I asked in disbelief, as we pulled up in front of it "You're buying presents in the library?"

"Of course not. I just need a book, and I thought you loved libraries?" we got out of the car, and I couldn't help smiling.

I did love libraries. They were always so quiet, and all the books were placed systematically and practical, who wouldn't love it?

Just when we walked in Sydney's phone rang. She quickly answered, earning a couple of glares from the people around us.

I let her speak on the phone, and walked to a big bookcase under the music section. I loved music, and had always wanted to learn how to play the piano. My father had told me it would be a waste of time, seeing as it would never be of any use for an alchemist.

I picked out a book, and read the title. It was a book called "The work of the pianist," from Charles Rosen.

I started reading the first page, and got so enraptured it wasn't until Sydney literally had to take the book away from me that I realized she'd been calling my name.

"Zoe" her tone was slightly annoyed, but her eyes held an amused glint.

"Sorry" I muttered, I watched the books in her arms, and wanted nothing more than to read the rest of it.

"This always happens when I bring you to the library. What did you find?"

"It's a book about being a pianist," I said sheepishly. I wasn't sure what she'd think of it, would she share my father's opinion about it being silly and useless?

"Really? That's sound very interesting" she actually read the cover and backside. It touched my heart that she showed the interest to do that. My father would've thrown it out the window.

"It is…I eh I actually always wanted to learn how to play the piano" I said, her eyebrows rose in surprise, and I again feared her response.

"Then why don't you?" she asked. I bit my lip feeling both excited and nervous.

"I don't have the time. We have a job to do here. It would just be a distraction"

"Zoe, you sound like dad. He told you that didn't he? If you want to learn we'll find a way to make time. We'll make it happen"

I smiled in response. The way she spoke, the kindness in her eyes…it all reminded me of _my _Sydney. The Sydney who wasn't accused of having kissed a vampire. The one who did everything in her power to make sure I was okay…was there still any of that Sydney left?

"Are you sure?" I asked, and she rolled her eyes.

"Yes! Of course I am!" Sydney then bit her lip, and I was worried she might reconsider.

"Uh, Zo, you know what? I have to go help my history teacher with something…for a project"

"Today? But we're on our holiday!" I said, Sydney nodded and looked like she wasn't sure how to respond.

"I know. But it's kind of, uh, an important project. How would you feel about staying in the library for like half an hour while I go? Would that be okay?"

Okay? It sounded like heaven to me. Thirty minutes by myself in a library? With no sister who may or may not be getting too close to a vampire to worry about, and no vampires around to make me panic?

"That's fine," I said, and she smiled gratefully.

"Thanks Zoe! I promise I'll hurry, and then we can get some lunch after. My treat" Sydney gave me one last smile before hurrying out the door.

I then went book hunting. I walked around the library looking at all sorts of books, and quickly found myself totally captivated by most of them. I found a quiet corner and sat on the floor in front of a big bookcase with travel books. I looked at all the books in the bookcase. After a few minutes I found my favorite: it was a travel book about Paris.

I jumped as I got a text; I pulled out my phone and saw my sister's name on the screen.

At first I felt disappointed at having to go, but then read her text.

_Project is taking longer than I expected. You okay waiting for another half hour?_

_Yes _I texted back, and Sydney responded with a smiley face. I looked at the screen in surprise. Sydney using smileys? That almost shocked me more than when Stanton had accused Sydney of kissing Adrian Ivashkov.

"Excuse me?" I looked up to see a boy, who looked to be a few years older than me, standing in front of me. I looked around to see if there was anyone else here, but I realized he had to be talking to me.

"Yes?"

"I was just looking for a book about London, and you're kinda leaning against it" he said and smiled at me. I realized I had gotten so comfortable I _was_ actually leaning against the bookcase.

"Sorry! I was just reading a book and I was so engrossed I didn't even realize what I was doing. I didn't see you there" I said and jumped up, he smiled like he found my rambling amusing. I felt like slapping myself.

"That's okay" he grabbed the book he'd mentioned "Which place did you choose?" he asked, pointing at my book.

"Paris" I said, holding it up for him to see. He nodded approvingly.

"Great city. Have you ever been there?"

"Only in my dreams" I told him, and he smiled.

"I have," he told me, and my jaw dropped.

"Really?!"

"Yes. It's a beautiful city" he said and grinned at my expression.

"I have always wanted to go there. I want to see the Eiffel tower, and go to museums and eat a crepe," I spoke dreamily. When I looked at him again I realized he was watching me, and I tried to hide a blush.

"It definitely is an amazing city. You should go there someday"

"I hope to" I told him wistfully "Oh and I'm Zoe" I said, realizing I didn't know who I was talking to.

"I'm Jackson" he sent me another smile, "I haven't seen you around here before, have I?"

"No, I just moved to Palm Springs. I'm starting school after Christmas"

"Which school will you be attending?" Jackson asked.

"Amberwood prep" I said and his face lit up.

"Really? Me too!" he smiled "Are you sure I haven't seen you before? Your tattoo looks familiar"

"My tattoo?" I asked, touching the golden lily on my cheek "Oh my sister has the same tattoo. Her name is Sydney Melrose"

"You're Sydney's sister?" he asked, but then answered his own question, "Of course you are. I can see the resemblance now. I'm in her chemistry class. My roommate is a friend of hers, his name's Trey Juarez"

"I don't think Sydney's mentioned him," I said earnestly, but made a mental note to ask Sydney about him.

We sat down then, and he told me all about Paris. The more he told me the more I wanted to go. Paris sounded like everything I'd ever dreamt it to be. As I sat in the library it felt like time stopped. I was just a human spending time with another human. It was simple and easy and everything I needed right now.

I dreaded going back to Clarence's. I didn't like how the house looked like a mansion from a horror movie, or the fact that actual vampires lived inside.

Jackson talked so passionately about Paris and travelling. I had always wanted to travel the world, which I suppose was something my job allowed me to. Sydney had travelled around a lot, and -besides cleaning up the messes the Strigoi left behind- I'm pretty sure she had liked being away.

As I watched Jackson talk I couldn't help notice how attractive he looked. He had tan skin, and brown hair a shade darker than mine. But what I loved most about him was his eyes; they were ice-blue like the color of aquamarines. I had never seen eyes that blue before, and excitement shone clear through them as he told me the stories of his travels.

My cell rang and my bubble of happiness burst. I realized I'd been staring at Jackson, and blushed as I answered the phone.

Sydney told me she was outside waiting, and I promised I'd meet her there. Time had flown being with Jackson, and I felt bad about leaving him.

"I have to go now," I told him, and he nodded "It was very nice meeting you"

"You too, Zoe" an awkward silence followed, and I wasn't sure what to say.

"I suppose I'll see you around school" I said, and bit my lip. Social interactions were definitely not my strong side.

"Maybe we could meet before that?" he asked. I picked up a hint of hope in his voice "Like before school starts? We could, you know, go out some time if you want?" he actually blushed and it somehow enhanced his handsome features.

"I'd like that" I told him, and his grin widened so much I had to smile back.

I gave him my phone number, and walked to Latte where Sydney was waiting for me. I got inside, and Sydney eyed me curiously.

"Where are all your books? And what are you smiling about?" she asked, I realized I'd forgotten all the books I had wanted to borrow, and they were probably still on the floor where I'd been sitting with Jackson.

"Uh, I kind of have a date" I couldn't wipe the grin off my face as I told her, and to make everything worse I even blushed.

"A _date_?" Eddie asked, surprise clear in his voice, Sydney and I had returned from the town and of course she'd told everyone what had happened.

"You were left alone in a library for an hour and you come out with a date?" Jill asked, "That's pretty impressive"

"Way to go Zoe" Adrian added, and I blushed. Again.

"I hope it's okay?" I turned to Sydney "Or do you think I'm too young?"

"Of course it's okay!" she said instantly "I'm happy for you!" her face softened as she spoke her next words.

"You don't have to ask my permission for everything you know" I responded with a smile, not telling her that I actually liked asking her. It comforted me, I think, to have someone help decide what I should and shouldn't do. I would ask my mom, but I couldn't call her that often.

"Who's the guy?" Jill asked, her eyes shone of excitement and it was impossible for me not to smile watching her.

"His name is Jackson. He's Trey Juarez roommate" everyone turned silent at that and I wondered what to make of it.

"Is there something wrong with Jackson?" I asked then, and Sydney instantly shook her head.

"No! Not at all. He's actually in my chemistry class. He's a very smart, good guy" she said, I waited for more, but she didn't continue. I thought back to what I'd said.

"Is there something wrong with Trey then?" silence filled the room once again.

"He used to date Sydney!" Jill blurted, making everyone turn to stare at her. If she noticed she didn't show and simply continued.

"Yeah, uh they were dating but then he broke up with her, and it really broke Sydney's heart. We don't usually talk about him, you know for Sydney's sake" Sydney was glaring at Jill, and it had to be because she didn't want to talk about this so openly.

"I'm sorry" I told Sydney "I didn't know" Sydney turned back to me, and gave me a small smile.

"It's fine" she reassured me "I am, uh, over him"

This confused me further, which I suppose was pretty impressive since I felt like I'd already hit my maximum level of confusion.

If Sydney had dated Trey -and was obviously not over him- then Stanton had to be wrong about Sydney and Adrian. Sydney would never go kissing some guy if she was still hung up on some other guy…right?

"Is it going to be too weird for you then? With me dating his roommate?" I asked Sydney.

"No" she told me giving me a reassuring smile.

"Are you sure?" I asked. She looked like something was bothering her, but I couldn't figure out if it was this thing with Trey or something else.

"Positive" she cleared her throat, and I didn't mention it again.

Jill kept asking me about the date and Jackson. The others had given up, but we were sitting on the couch both wrapped in a blanket each. I felt strange about being this close to a vampire…mostly because it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would have.

Jill was nice and easy-going. She laughed a lot and talked a lot, and it was impossible not to smile when around her. Not that I'd ever say that out loud.

"And he's been to Paris!" I watched her jaw drop just like mine had earlier when Jackson had told me.

"Really? Oh he's so lucky!" she gushed, she had a dreamy expression on her face "I have always wanted to go to Paris!"

"Tell me about it!" I said, and we both sighed audibly, which made Jill laugh and it turned out to be impossible for me not to join in.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to go out with this guy?" I hadn't heard Eddie approach, and was surprised to find him leaning against the coffee table next to us.

"What do you mean?" I asked. Not knowing how it could not be a good idea.

"Well you don't know this guy. Who says he's not a serial killer?"

"A serial killer, Eddie? Seriously?" Jill said and rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Well you don't know that! Maybe he did some research, found out who you are and figured out a way to get to you" If Eddie had been saying that to Jill it would have made sense. The whole reason for him being in Palm Springs was so that he could protect her. But Eddie was turned towards me, and his brown eyes clearly gave away that he was very serious.

Jill made a fake cough, and said "Overprotective." Eddie frowned, but his eyes never left mine.

"That's why we keep you around then, isn't it?" I felt uncomfortable with him looking at me like that.

"I promise I'll give you a call if he tries to kill me" I added, hoping to hide my nervousness.

Eddie gave a long sigh, and finally moved his eyes from mine. Had he been serious? I looked at Jill, and she looked like she was wondering the same thing.

Sydney walked to where we were sitting then, and had a stormy expression on her face.

"Jill, can I talk to you?" Jill must have noticed my sister's mood as well, because she jumped right up and followed Sydney out the living room.

"Dinner's almost ready" Dorothy, Clarence's personal feeder told us, and Eddie and I got up from the couch.

"I'm just going to wash my hands," I told Eddie. I was just about to open the door to the kitchen when Sydney's angry voice made me stop.

"Did you have to tell Zoe that?" Sydney hissed. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I had to know why they were talking about me.

"Well someone had to say something! You all just froze!" Jill responded. I could tell by her voice that she was upset too.

"You didn't have to tell her I was _dating_ him! You could've made up any story"

"It was the first thing I could think of! And if she cares about you she won't mention him again. The main thing is that Zoe doesn't know what Trey really is, right?" that made me catch my breath, and I knew I should've walked away at that. If Trey wasn't what they'd said he was, then what was he? And why wouldn't they tell me?

"I suppose you're right" Sydney said finally "I just hate lying to my sister" this time I did turn around, and walk away.


	6. Stars

I couldn't sleep. Again.

Sitting up in the bed I pulled out my phone. I only hesitated for a second before dialing the number I had memorized.

"Hello?" it took all the power I had not to break down at the sound of my mother's voice.

"Hi, mom" I whispered. My voice quavered and I hoped she didn't notice.

"Zoe? What's wrong?" of course she noticed, I was stupid to think she wouldn't. She's my _mom_.

"I just miss you…that's all" oh and I think your daughter may be dating a vampire, but don't worry…

"And you expect me to believe that?" her voice was soft, but I could read the worry in her voice. I bit my lip and prayed I wouldn't cry.

"Uh-huh" was all I managed.

Talking to my mother made me realize how lonely I felt here. There was no one I could talk to no one who could give me an advice on how to handle the situation with Sydney. I couldn't tell my mother about that and I certainly couldn't tell my father.

Maybe Carly would listen, but I knew she'd probably be on Sydney's side.

"Zoe, is everything okay? I thought Sydney was taking care of you"

"She is, mom" I responded quickly. I didn't want my mother to have to worry about us not getting along.

"Then what is it?" my mother always seemed to have a special power to make me want to tell her every feeling going through my body. I had never kept a thing from her in my life, and I didn't like having to cover this from her.

"It's just so different than I thought it would be," I finally said, "Being in the field"

I had a feeling my mother was smiling "I always told you it's not as glamorous as you thought"

I was smiling too now "But I wouldn't listen. I guess you're allowed to say 'I told you say' now"

"Well I am just going to say I love you instead" there was no stopping the tears now.

"I love you too," I whispered. I tried blinking away the tears, but they kept falling.

"I know that darling" my mother said "And I know it's tough being in the field and away from home, but just know that I am so, so proud of everything you are. And you will always have a place to come home to"

Despite my tears I smiled again. That was exactly what I needed to hear.

"Thanks mom"

We disconnected, and before I had a chance to do anything a knock sounded on my door. The hallway outside was dark, and at first I couldn't see who had entered the room. Then Eddie's familiar voice filled the room.

"I thought I heard voices" I think he smiled "What are you doing up so early?"

"I couldn't sleep," I whispered, pulling my duvet up around me, "and you?"

"Couldn't sleep either" he shut the door behind him, probably so we wouldn't wake anyone else, and I turned my nightlight on. Eddie had been smiling, but his smiled gone when he saw my face.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sitting down on the bed much closer than I would have liked him to.

I realized then my eyes must've looked raw from me crying, and I looked away embarrassed that he had seen.

"Uh, nothing. I'm fine"

"Fine's not really a feeling though" his voice was soft, and seemed to wrap around me like a warm blanket. It had been a long time since anyway had acted like they cared about me, and just for a second I wanted to just lean into him, and have him hold me. But there was a more rational part -the one I listened to- that told me to move further away.

"It works for me," I said. For some reason I felt annoyed with him. Everyone else had just shrugged it off when I was acting all sad. Why did he have to go and act like he actually cared? It messed with my head.

"I'm just worried about you," he said, and looked away. The look of worry on his face looked so real, and for some reason I couldn't take my eyes off him.

"You don't need to worry," I said. He looked up, probably wanting to argue with it, but I continued.

"I already have Sydney watching me. I'll be just-"

"Fine?" he asked, I rolled my eyes, and looked away. I hated the way everyone seemed to so easily read every emotion I had.

"Yeah…fine" he seemed to sense that I didn't want to talk about it, and then moved on.

"Well if that's really true I was wondering if you wanted to come for a drive with me? I could teach you?" I had to admit it was tempting, not only because of the fact that I would be driving a car, but also because I would get out of this house.

"Fine" I said again, and Eddie grinned at me.

"I must say you're getting better and better" Eddie told me. He wore a smile on his face.

I thought I was terrible, but Eddie kept telling me I was doing well. I wasn't sure whether he was telling the truth, or just being nice.

"Where are you going?" I asked him, he was the one driving now. We always drove somewhere remote when I was behind the wheel. That way I didn't accidently run over someone.

"I thought we could get an early lunch in town before going back" he said, with his eyes still on the road he added, "If you don't mind."

I was surprised to see it was 12 o'clock already. Time had flown by.

"I don't," I said earnestly. I much preferred being around one vampire, than the ones at home. Plus if I was being honest I had to admit Eddie wasn't the worst of them.

"Great" he told me. We drove on for another ten minutes. He pulled up in front of a small café. I didn't know this one, but it looked cute.

"Sydney says they have the best salads," Eddie told me, as he held the door open for me.

"How did you-" I started but Eddie cut me off.

"I have noticed you have similar eating habits" he said, and smiled triumphantly as if he had cracked some secret code, "No calories, right?"

"Uhm actually…I am a vegetarian" I said, he raised an eyebrow like he hadn't expected that.

"Really? No meat? At all?" I had to laugh at his expression. In the little time I had known Eddie there was one thing I was absolutely sure of: Eddie _loved _food. The other day he had spent almost five full minutes talking about how bacon made his life that much more worth living.

We had just sat down at a table, when someone called Eddie's name.

"Hey there Eddie!" A guy with red hair, and freckles approached our table smiling widely.

"Hi Micah" Eddie said and looked happy to see him.

"I don't mean to sound weird, but I just have to say you two make the cutest couple"

I almost choked on the diet coke I had just sipped, and looked up startled at the person standing next to our table.

"What?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah" Micah said, glancing between us "You look great together. Wow who is this?" Micah turned to me.

"This is Zoe" Eddie told Micah. I turned to him surprised that he hadn't started with saying we weren't together seeing as he knew this person.

"His _sister_" I said in voice a lot less polite than I'd usually use when I was meeting someone new.

"Oh my god! I'm sorry!" he blurted and blushed. I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

"That's okay" I said, "It's nice to meet you"

"Yeah you too!" he said, "I'm Eddie's roommate at Amberwood," he told me and I recalled having been told about him before.

"I thought you had left town to visit your family?" Eddie asked Micah.

"I'm leaving this afternoon! I'm so excited to see them again," Micah said happily. He seemed like one of those people who always smiled, and never got angry.

"Yeah I get that. It must be great to get to see them again," Eddie said wistfully, and I studied his face. I could tell that he was earnestly happy for Micah, but also that he wished it was him going to see his family.

I felt the same way. This would be my first Christmas ever without seeing my family, but at least I had Sydney. Everyone else back at Clarence's hadn't seen their family in a while, and I knew Eddie especially missed his.

"You're obviously not dating Eddie then, right?" Micah asked, and I didn't have to fake the frown appearing on my face.

"Obviously" I said.

"Does that mean you're single then?" Micah asked me. Now Eddie actually _did _start choking on his coke.

"Are you okay?" I asked. Eddie just nodded, but never moved his eyes off Micah.

"Don't you have a plane to catch?" Eddie asked, he sounded annoyed all of a sudden.

"Yeah…so what do you say Zoe?" Micah fixed his blue eyes on me again, and I felt self-conscious under his stare.

"She's seeing someone," Eddie said "Besides don't you have a girlfriend?" I shot him a grateful look.

I hadn't been on my date with Jackson yet, but I was definitely going to. Micah seemed really friendly, but I felt like one boy at a time was more than enough.

"We're not dating exclusively. But you have a boyfriend? That's too bad…" Micah said, and finally moved his eyes off of me.

"Well I better go now, wouldn't want to be late for my flight" Micah said, he glanced at me one last time, and I had a feeling he was hesitating.

"Tell, uh, tell Jill I said hi, will you?" Micah asked in a small voice. An awkward silence followed but Eddie broke it.

"Sure. We'll do that. Enjoy your holiday"

"You too" Micah turned back to his smiley self "It was nice meeting you Zoe"

"Yeah, you too" I said, and watched him walk out of the restaurant.

"What was that about?" I asked Eddie the second Micah was out of earshot.

"What was what?" Eddie asked, he picked at his food with a fork, I knew he was avoiding the subject, because this was the first time I had seen Eddie not eat his food.

"You know, the whole Jill thing? Micah got all awkward?" For some reason Eddie looked relived. I thought back to the conversation but didn't find reason to question anything else.

"Don't freak," he told me, I raised an eyebrow.

"Why would I freak?" I was even more curious now as to what was going on.

"You always do" Eddie told me, but I didn't agree. With the level of crazy I'd had to deal with these last few days I think I should get a medal for not having gone crazy yet.

"What? I don't always-"

"Do you want to know or not?" Eddie interrupted.

"I want to know"

"They used to date" Eddie told me, and when I didn't react at first he added "Micah and Jill"

"_Micah and Jill_?!" I gasped. Eddie leaned back, and looked like this was exactly how he'd expected me to react.

"I knew you'd freak" Eddie told me, and crossed his arms.

"Of course I'm freaking out! He's _human_!" I hissed, but lowered my voice in case anyone would overhear us.

"And?" Eddie asked as if it was no big deal.

"And she's a…" I bit my lip. I had been just about to say _vampire_ in a public place "…And she's different" I ended.

"Listen we can't keep Jill locked up in her dorm all day"

"The main thing is that she's kept safe. Her revealing what she is isn't going to keep her alive"

"She has a right to live her life" Eddie snapped. I could tell that he strongly disagreed, but I didn't care right now. Didn't they realize how risky this was?

"Does Sydney know about this?"

"Of course she does" Eddie said "We had a talk about it before Jill even started dating Micah, and we both agreed she should have some kind of a life here. We work together here in Palm Springs, all of us, no one is kept in the dark"

"Well expect for one" I said bitterly, and crossed my arms.

"What's that?" Eddie asked, but I shook my head.

"Nothing. Doesn't matter" I said, and looked out the window. I couldn't tell Eddie how I'd overhead Sydney telling Jill she was lying to me.

"Zoe" I looked back at Eddie and his anger from before was gone, and he regarded me with kind eyes.

"If there was any danger with Jill dating a human we wouldn't have let her. Jill broke up with Micah because she felt like he was getting too close. Jill knows the danger, and she's careful. We all are" Eddie reached out like he was going to take my hand, but thought better of it and stopped himself.

I realized I'd been a bit hard on him too, and let out an audible sigh.

"Well if you say you're being careful…then I trust you," I never thought I'd ever say those words to a vampire, but when Eddie looked at me with those big brown eyes I was helpless.

"Thank you" Eddie said, and smiled at me.

After that the tension between us was undeniable. I didn't know what to say. I was just about to ask Eddie if we should go back home, when he leaned forward.

"How many stars would you give this place?" the expression on his face let me know he wasn't angry anymore, but I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Stars?" I asked, he looked around the place, and looked like he was taking in every single detail of his surroundings.

I had seen Eddie do this million of times before. Due to his guardian practice scanning a room for danger was second nature to him now. But the way he studied his surroundings now made me think it had nothing to do with guardian training.

"Like if you were a food critic and you had to analyze the food, the restaurant and oh I don't know the waiters' level of efficiency how would you rate it?"

I had to smile at him. When I was younger my father thought it would be nice to make every Sunday evening 'family time' which resolved in me having been to a lot of fancy restaurants. From the second we had entered the café I had enjoyed how down-to-earth it was.

I studied my surroundings as Eddie had done before. The menu card was written on a white wall in the café in many different colors, around it was painted snowflakes. The waitresses all wore big, red ribbons in their hair, and the boys wore red bowties. The inside looked as if Santa himself had decorated the room, it was the most Christmassy place I had ever seen.

The small café was everything the fancy restaurants of my childhood hadn't been, and I loved it.

"Well how many stars is the maximum?" I turned back to Eddie. He smiled as he realized I was going along with his game.

"Ten" he decided after pausing to think of it.

"Ten? Isn't it usually five stars?" I asked. Eddie rolled his eyes like I was the silly one.

"Not in this game. I decide the rules," I studied him for a moment, and then gave in.

"All right then ten it is. I think I will give the waiters nine stars," I said.

"Based on what? Looks?" Eddie gestured to a waiter around my age with brown curly hair, and green eyes. I turned back to Eddie, and made sure to frown.

"Based on efficiency and the rather elegant dress code. It had nothing to do with the young waiter," I said, and Eddie smiled like he didn't believe me at all.

"He looks over here every five minutes. I think you have a fan Zo" Eddie laughed, and I shook my head.

"Very funny, Castile" sarcasm dripped off my voice.

"It's true. You have a whole army of boys following you around here" this made me blush, and I looked down hoping he hadn't seen it.

"I do not!" I responded, suddenly Eddie placed a finger under my chin and lifted my head.

He smiled smugly "Oh? Then why are you blushing?"

"I am not! Stop saying stuff like that. We were playing a game, right?" I pulled my head away from his hand, and had to stop myself from wiping the place his skin had touched mine.

Eddie still smiled in that self-satisfied way "Right"

"Well I will have to give the food seven stars"

"Why only seven?" Eddie seemed to have his head back in the game, which made me relax a bit more.

"Well being a vegetarian I have tasted a lot of salads. This was good, but I was a bit disappointed. Due to the fact that it's all organic though I might have to raise it to an eight"

"You take it so seriously" Eddie suddenly said, I didn't move my eyes from his as I responded.

"I take pretty much everything seriously" that made him half-smile, and even I had to admit it looked pretty adorable on him.

"What do you do when you have fun then?"

"Fun? I don't know what that means," I said and it only made his smile widen.

"That was actually kind of funny," he said, still smiling that ridiculously wide smile.

"No it wasn't."

"How about the surroundings then?" Eddie gestured to the rest of the café "How many stars?"

Again I thought back to the fancy restaurants I used to dine in when I was younger. They had always felt awfully stuffy to me, like I couldn't breathe.

In this café though I could definitely breathe.

"Ten" I said confidently.

"I agree" Eddie's voice was soft, and it made me turn to look at him. He was looking straight at me, and the intensity in his eyes made me blush once more.

I couldn't turn away. His gaze had me locked, and I felt as if time stopped. The noise from the people around us disappeared.

A voice in my head told me he shouldn't be looking at me like that and that I should turn away, but it seemed impossible.

"Here's your bill" the waiter with the curly hair broke the quiet we had settled into, and I felt the urge to slap him.

Eddie seemed to snap out of it before I did, and paid the full bill before I had the chance to object.

I felt flustered all of a sudden, and as we drove back home I couldn't help wonder what had just happened between us.

We had to pull in at a gas station on the way back. I was just about to get out of the car when my phone rang. I looked at the screen, but didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?" I answered a bit hesitantly. Normally the only person calling me was Stanton.

"Hey Zoe!" Jackson answered. His voice sounded both excited and nervous, and I had to smile.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked.

"Well I was thinking it's time for our date soon, don't you?" he asked. I bit my lip, feeling bad about my answer.

Ever since Sydney had told me she used to date Trey, I felt bad about going out with his roommate. It would be impossible for Sydney and Trey not to run into each other at some point, and even though Sydney said it was fine I didn't feel right about it.

"I was thinking about that and, uh, maybe it would be a bad idea"

"Why would you think that?" his tone had radically changed and I felt sorry for him.

"I was talking to Sydney and she told me how she and Trey used to date, and I just feel like maybe it would be a bad idea"

"Wait a second Zoe. Sydney and Trey? They never dated" Jackson said, sounding as confused as I felt.

"Yes they did," I said, at least that's what Sydney had told me so it had to be true, right…right?

"No they didn't. Ever"

I didn't say a word on the rest of the way home.

As we walked in the door Sydney jumped up, and practically ran to me.

"Thank god you're okay!" she hugged me tightly, and I had to force myself to hug her back.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked her. She and Adrian were the only one in the living room.

"You didn't answer your phone! I was so worried when you weren't there when I woke up"

"Well we were out driving. I was actually driving, and then we had lunch" I told her. Relief flooded her face, and she finally stepped away from me.

"Thank god" Sydney said again, and ran a hand through her hair "You guys had lunch?" surprise filled her voice.

"Yeah, we went to that organic place you love. The one with the salads" Eddie told Sydney. She had gone to sit back down beside Adrian, and I couldn't help notice how close together they sat.

I would never sit that close to a vampire, and Sydney didn't even seemed to notice, or mind.

"Oh I love that place! What did you think of the salads, Zoe?" Sydney smiled up at me, and I felt conflicted when I looked at her. She seemed honestly interested in me, and I missed talking to her about normal things like salad, but still she was sitting too close to Adrian…

"Oh they're all right" I said, and shrugged.

"Yeah they only got eight stars" Eddie said, and grinned at me. I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help smiling back.

When I looked back at Sydney and Adrian, I couldn't help noticing the look in Adrian's eyes. He was staring intently at me, or actually it looked like he was watching something around me, but that didn't make any sense. His eyes moved to Eddie, and he looked at Eddie in the same strange way.

"Huh" Adrian leaned back with a self-satisfied smile, and crossed his arms. I had a feeling whatever he was going to say I wouldn't like it.

"What is it?" Sydney asked him. He had turned his stare back on me, and I felt self-conscious all of a sudden. What was he doing?

He snapped out of it, and turned to Sydney "I just think it's lovely that Zoe and Eddie are getting along so well" the hidden meaning in his words were loud and clear. I blushed the second he said it, horrified with the very idea of him suggesting we were more than friends.

I am not even sure if we were friends.

"Yes…that's nice" Sydney didn't read anything into what he said, and just looked a bit confused as to why he'd say that.

"It's great! They do look lovely together, don't they?" I think Sydney caught on to the fact that more was going on than she had originally thought.

"Stop" I whispered, but my voice was barely audible. I took a step back, and was surprised to find how shaky my legs were.

"No I just think-"

"Adrian. Shut. Up." Eddie sounded angrier than I had ever heard him, and for a moment I worried he might punch him.

I wasn't sure if I would've felt so bad for Adrian if he did.

"He's right Adrian. There's nothing going on here that shouldn't be" Sydney said, and actually laid a hand on his leg.

I couldn't stop myself. The words flew out of my mouth, and the second I had spoken them I prayed I could take them back.

"That's not what Stanton said"

"Stanton?" Sydney's removed her hand, and looked up at me" "Zoe? When have you been talking to Stanton?" her voice was on the edge of breaking

I placed my hands on my hips "Earlier this week. I met her outside of Palm Springs"

"She flew here?" Sydney asked getting up from the couch "What did she say?" Sydney took a step closer, and I tried to stand up straighter hoping it would make me look taller.

"A lot of things" I said crisply. Sydney eyes narrowed.

"What _things_?" her voice grew harsh, and suddenly she looked afraid.

"I don't know if I should tell you," I said.

"Zoe, this is bigger than you getting some medal from dad for being a good, little alchemist"

"I know" I said, "This is between you and me"

"Exactly!" Sydney said, "So please tell me what's going on"

"Before I do that I want _you _to tell _me _what's going on"

"What do you mean? What do you want to know?" I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

Despite the intense fear of the answer to my question growing inside of me, I smiled.

"Everything."


	7. Decision

**Hey guys! This chapter is written from Sydney's point of view. I'm going to do that sometimes, but I'll mostly write from Zoe's pov. **

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns the VA and Bloodlines series.**

**Please review and let me know what you think**

* * *

"Everything" Zoe said and smiled.

I didn't know what to say, or where to start. Protecting Zoe meant everything to me, and if I told her the truth I would be putting her in danger. I couldn't do that.

"And don't you dare lie to me again" Zoe sounded so hurt and angry it broke my heart.

"Zoe…" I started, but for the first time in my life I had no idea what to say.

"I know about Trey, okay? I know you never dated him! Why would you lie about that Sydney? Why?"

"Because I wanted to protect you" that at least wasn't a lie. Zoe knew it, and her expression softened.

"How could me knowing the truth possibly hurt me?" Zoe sounded more frustrated now than before, and I instantly felt bad for her.

She had arrived here, and I had acted differently. She must feel alienated, I realized. She did an amazing job of hiding her feelings, I had to admit that but I also found myself wishing she didn't.

"The truth could hurt you in a lot of ways Zoe," I finally said. Ways you don't even know possible. I knew my vague answers were driving her crazy, but I needed the extra time to think.

Zoe placed her hands on her hips. The move was strangely familiar to me, and I realized I did the exact same thing when I was angry. I felt strangely connected to her, because in one way she might be the only person who could truly understand what I'd been going through.

"What's that supposed to mean Sydney? And why should I believe you anyways? All you've done since I came here is lie to me"

"I was doing what I thought was best for you" I realized I'd yelled the words, and Zoe took a frightened step back.

_Great job Sydney, now she's even scared of you too. _

"If you really do want what's best for me you'll me what it is you've been lying about. You'll tell me about what happened in Malibu"

"Malibu?" thousands of memories flashed through my mind. The last time I had been in Malibu was when I chose to be with Adrian…how could she possibly know about that? I knew for a fact that Adrian hadn't told her. Zoe hadn't even tried to be nice to the vampires since she had gotten here, and mostly acted hostile around them…well everyone except Eddie.

I decided to distract her with a different truth "Do you know the warriors of light?"

"The warriors of what?" she reacted the way I had expected her to.

"The warriors of light" I repeated.

"I have never heard about them before" She said earnestly.

"I didn't expect you to have. The alchemists like to keep them secret"

"Who are they then?" she sat down in a chair opposite me, and I hoped it meant she was willing to at least hear me out.

"They are in some ways a lot like us" I started though I had never liked being compared to them "Only more…aggressive in their approach of vampires. They want all of them gone, not just the Strigoi, but Moroi and Dhampirs too" Zoe looked like she was processing these news, and I dared a look at Adrian.

His green eyes wrapped around me like a blanket, and I instantly felt better. I allowed myself to smile at him, and he smiled back at me. I refocused on Zoe, but she still wore that faraway look in her eyes and hadn't seen a thing.

"Why are they kept secret?" I almost smiled, I would've asked the exact same question.

"The warriors like to do things their own way, and they want the alchemist to follow their rules-"

"But the alchemists don't like being told what to do" Zoe guessed, and I nodded.

"Exactly, and so they are kept a secret because right now the alchemists can't control them" I said.

I told her the entire story of how the warriors had kidnapped Sonya Karp, and how I had tried to convince them not to kill her, and that she wasn't Strigoi anymore. I told her how the alchemists had actually worked together with the Morois, and had saved Sonya and me.

I wished I could tell her more, but didn't feel like now was the time to tell my sister I had broken into alchemists records, and stolen data from them. That was something I never wanted anyone to find out about, _especially _not Zoe. Telling her that could bring both of us in danger.

Zoe's brown eyes watched me, and I knew she was wondering whether I was lying or telling the truth. I didn't blame her.

"Okay" she finally said, "I understand why you didn't tell me. You were just following orders," she said, and I didn't bother saying it was mostly to protect her. Following orders was the logical explanation and something Zoe understood, and respected.

"That still doesn't explain what happened in Malibu" Zoe said, and I felt my heart speed up again. Why did she have to know _everything_?

"No it doesn't," I said, and hoped she didn't notice how my voice was shaking.

"What aren't you telling me?" she asked. She was watching me carefully, and I realized she must have heard my voice shake.

"I-I-" I couldn't get the words out. I had lived through a lot of scary things in this life like being bitten by a Strigoi and fighting a witch, but in this very moment I was terrified.

"Stanton said…" Zoe started, she looked pale too "Stanton tried convincing me that you were seen kissing…_him_" Zoe nodded her head in Adrian's direction, and spoke his name with so much disgust it made me flinch. She fixed her brown eyes on me once again.

"Is it true?" there was nothing I could do to avoid the question. I couldn't lie to her again.

"Zoe, you have to understand-"

"Sydney? Is it true?" She spoke each word slowly, and I could see her chest rise and fall quicker than before. I wasn't the only one who was scared.

"Zoe…I…No" I finally told her "No, of course it isn't true…did you really believe that?" Relief flooded Zoe's face, and she let out a deep breath.

"No! Well I thought…maybe…you have been acting…strange…lately," she told me sheepishly, and I forced myself to smile.

"Well I assure you it isn't true!" Zoe grinned me at, and I couldn't help thinking how my heart was breaking.

If Zoe reacted this way when someone had accused me of being with a vampire, how wouldn't she react if she ever did find out the truth? It would scar her, and I couldn't do that to her.

"You have no idea how worried I've been! I'm sorry for even thinking something so horrible about you! I hope you can forgive me!" the more Zoe spoke, the worse I felt.

"Sure" I could barely speak. Zoe jumped up happily, and said something about going to her room. I wanted to ask her more questions about what Stanton had said, but couldn't make myself speak.

I didn't realize I was crying until my vision blurred as tears filled my eyes. I angrily wiped them away.

Eddie, who had left us to speak, walked into the living room. He scanned the room, probably looking for Zoe, and then his eyes fell on me.

"So what did you tell her?" he asked me "Where is Zoe?"

"She's in her room. I told her the truth about Trey" Eddie crossed his arms, hearing exactly what I wasn't saying.

"But not the truth about you guys?" his eyes moved from me and to Adrian, who protectively wrapped an arm around me.

Eddie shook his head "I know it's hard for you Sydney, I really do, but lying to her like that? It's just not right" and with that he left.

"I can't keep doing this, lying to her like this. It's wrong," I told Adrian, the tears from before filled my eyes once again, but this time I didn't bother wiping them away.

"It's going to be okay" he brushed my cheek "I mean you got used to the idea of being around vampires. Don't you think Zoe can too?"

"I don't know" I got up from the couch, and I suddenly felt awfully cold without Adrian's arm around me "But maybe there shouldn't be anything to know about until then"

It took a moment before Adrian realized what I was saying, and he jumped off the couch.

"Please don't tell me you're going to leave me…again," the pained expression on his face reminded me of the other times I had left him, and if it was possible I felt even worse now.

"No, not exactly. But maybe we should take a break. Zoe needs me, and I can't keep lying to her"

"But you're protecting her!" he said and grabbed both of my hands.

"Yes but didn't you see the look on her face when she asked me if something was going on? She was terrified" I reluctantly stepped away from him, and wrapped my arms around myself.

"Yes and so were you when you first got here, but you got over it" Adrian crossed his arms, and I had a feeling he was doing everything in his power to mask his feelings.

"And maybe Zoe will too some day, but until then…I have to focus on Zoe, and I can't do that if you and are together"

"Sydney please, _please_ don't do this" he took a step towards me again, but I stayed where I was.

"I'm sorry. It's definitely not what I want, but this is the way it has to be" I turned around and walked to my room. The tears from before seemed permanent now, and I felt broken.

Before Zoe had arrived everything in my life just felt so _right_, now it felt like everything I had fought to have was lost. Because if I couldn't have Adrian I am not sure I wanted to have anything at all.


	8. Datenight

**Hey guys! So we're back to Zoe's pov again. **

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns the VA and Bloodlines. **

**Please leave a review and let me know what you think :)**

* * *

I suppose I should've been more prepared for this moment, or actually given it a thought. But I hadn't and I had even been desperate enough to ask Jill for help.

"Which one do you prefer?" She was holding up two green dresses that looked identical to me.

"I don't know. Aren't they the same?"

"No!" she actually looked offended "This one is jade green" she held up the dress in her left hand, then lifted her right hand "and this one is emerald green."

I let out a sigh but didn't say anything. I was getting ready for my first date with Jackson, and I think Jill was more excited than me. That's not weird, right?

"But are you sure it's okay for me to wear a dress? Won't it be too much?" I asked her, sitting down on the bed. Sydney was sitting in a chair and quietly watching us with an amused expression. She and Jill had been giving me lessons on what I should and shouldn't do. Sydney had surprised me by actually having been on a date with a guy. His name was Brandon or Brayden or something like that.

"You'll look fine. Besides you usually wear dresses and skirts more than pants. Don't you?"

I blinked surprised "Yes…how did you know that?"

"Well we've been living under the same roof for a week. I've noticed what you wear" Jill said, and shrugged.

"Right. You're into fashion right? You used to model?" Jill's expression turned surprised, and I realized this might be one of the first times I asked her something personal. I also realized I must've made a terrible first expression on the vampires so far.

I promised myself I'd try to change that.

"Yeah, I was even in a fashion show here in Palm Springs! It was amazing! I wore the most beautiful dress, oh Zoe you should've seen it!" Her eyes shone as she told me, and excitement filled her voice.

"It sounds really cool!" I told her, from the corner of my eye I noticed Sydney raised an eyebrow at my friendly tone, but she kept quiet.

"Now, back to the dresses" Jill said, and her face was all business "I think the emerald one will be nicest with your skin tone, what do you think Angeline?"

I'd almost forgotten Angeline was here, and I had a feeling she wished she wasn't. From the second she'd entered the room she'd slumped down on the bed, and looked like she was ready to fall asleep any second.

Angeline shrugged "Aren't they the same color?" Jill looked exasperated as she watched Angeline.

"No! Haven't you been listening? This one is-"

"Can I go now?" Angeline interrupted, and Jill gave a curt nod.

"Fine" she said "Don't help Zoe then"

I didn't want to get in the middle of whatever was going on "Uh, it's fine. You seem to have it all under control"

Angeline didn't wait for Jill to comment and left the room. Jill shook her head.

"I'm sorry about that" she told me "She's been acting out a lot lately"

"It's okay" I told Jill earnestly "As long as she doesn't try to drink my blood, I'm fine"

Jill's eyes widened "Oh she'd never do that!" then she saw the expression on my face "That was a joke wasn't it?"

I smiled "Yes."

Sydney got up from the chair she'd been sitting in "I'll talk to her," she said, and left the room as well.

Jill and I finally decided on the emerald dress, and once I changed into it I knew it was the right choice. Despite it being December the weather was sunny and hot, wearing a dress was going to be a nice help against the heat.

Jill helped me fix my makeup, she smiled through the whole thing, and I realized me going on a date might be the most exciting thing happening to her in a while.

Suddenly I was reminded of my conversation with Eddie about whether it was okay for Jill to be dating a human. Eddie had argued by saying she needed some kind of a life here in Palm Springs, and as I watched Jill now I realized I might have to rethink my opinion on the whole thing.

I felt shocked by even thinking that but Jill had to be bored here with no contact allowed to her friends and family.

"There" Jill said after applying some mascara to my lashes "You're perfect" she grinned at me, and I turned to face the mirror in my room.

My jaw dropped.

I rarely used makeup, I found it too time consuming and I liked sleeping way too much to wake up earlier to put it on.

But the girl staring back at me from the mirror had long lashes, red cheeks and full lips. She was beautiful, and it was only because of the dumbstruck expression on her face that I knew the girl had to be me.

Jill laughed at my reaction "I hope your silence means you like it"

It took me a moment to form the words "I had no idea I could be pretty" it sounded sad to say out loud, but I remember being younger and watching Sydney and Carly put on makeup, and they would look so pretty and grownup. I always wanted to look like that too, but they had told me I was too young.

"You were always pretty" Jill told me, "We just added a bit too it" I felt a lump form in my throat, and didn't know how to respond. Thankfully Sydney saved me.

"Zoe?" she stuck her head inside the room "Jackson's here and- wow look at you" she walked inside the room, and I got up from the chair I had been sitting in. Sydney lifted my arm and made me do a spin, and it was impossible for me not to grin from ear to ear.

"Wow Zoe you look amazing" Sydney said, "Are you ready to go?"

It was in that instant it hit me what I was about to do. I had never been on a date with anyone ever, and the realization suddenly hit me that I had no idea what to do.

My feet were shaky as I walked down the stairs, and into the living room. I almost groaned as everyone was sitting there, and what worried me even more was that Adrian was talking to Jackson.

"There she is" Adrian said, and everyone turned at my approach. With all those eyes watching me I knew I had to be blushing, but tried to ignore it and walked to Jackson.

"Hey" I said awkwardly, the room went quiet and I felt self-conscious.

"Hey" he said happily, but I picked up a hint of nervousness in his voice too. We stood there for a few seconds in uncomfortable silence.

"Are you ready to go?" Jackson finally asked me, and I nodded. Yes, please get me out of here.

"Yeah. Bye guys" I said, and turned around to wave at everyone. Everyone except Eddie gave me a sympathetic smile, and I couldn't help looking at him.

His face showed a mixture of protectiveness and…awe? I didn't know, and I didn't have time to think more about it because Jackson was waiting.

As we were sitting in his car, some of the horrible tension from before had thankfully gone away.

"So what are we doing today?" I asked Jackson. He had demanded he wanted to keep our plans a secret, much to Eddie's dismay. I suppose his guardian-instincts spoke against surprises.

"Well" he started "You know how people go all crazy around Christmas? They act like everything is perfect, and only listen to Christmas music and demand everyone to be happy every day up to Christmas?" Yes I did know those people. I was one of those people. I absolutely loved everything about Christmas, ever since I was a child it had been my favorite holiday. I wondered if Jackson was going to take me to see Santa. It would be embarrassingly fantastic if he did.

"Well I hate those people" Jackson crushed my Santa-dream by saying "I mean it's okay if you like Christmas, just don't go over the top. You know?"

No I do not know "Yeah" I bit my lip. Jill's dating instructions hadn't prepared me for anything like this, and I kind of wished she'd left me with a manual.

"So I was thinking we do something not Christmassy" he said, and I realized from his expression this was the part where I was to act impressed. It was harder than I expected.

"That sounds…fun. So what do you have planned then?" I asked him, and Jackson smiled slyly.

"Just wait. You're going to love it," I almost objected by saying love was an awfully strong word, but knew that would definitely go against the dating rules.

As I stepped out of the car I almost considered going back in. A haunted house? Really? How did he even find it this time of year?

"Isn't this cool?" he asked, gesturing towards the haunted house.

No, I wanted to tell him. I practically lived in a haunted house with vampires. Walking in there and seeing fake zombies and vampires wasn't anything near a dream date in my opinion. Actually it was a lot closer to my idea of a living nightmare.

"Where did you even find this?" I asked him, hoping he didn't notice how I avoided his question. He didn't seem to, and grabbed my hand as we walked towards the house. I kind of wished he didn't, I was so nervous I was sweating and his hand didn't help.

"I found it on Google. Amazing how you can use the Internet these days, right?"

"Right."

He paid the two tickets, and I knew from Jill's instructions I was supposed to let him. I followed him inside, and had to pass a man dressed in a Dracula-costume. I almost wished Adrian had been here to see all of this. He would have enjoyed it a lot more.

"Look at that" I said, pointing at the Dracula-man. Jackson turned around, and rose an eyebrow.

"What about him?" he asked.

"He looks nothing like-" I laughed, and then caught myself. I had been just about to say _a real vampire_, but the tattoo had stopped me and I felt stupid for acting so careless. I almost expected Jackson to start yelling that vampires did exist, and I could just picture Stanton come running in to haul to me the to re-education center for telling the world about vampires.

But nothing happened. Jackson waited for me to finish my sentence unbeknownst to the fact that it was impossible for me to do so.

"What?" he finally asked, when he realized I wasn't going to continue "A real vampire?"

_Think fast, Zoe. _How could I possible save this?

"Uh yeah…Well it's just I was watching _Twilight _last night with my sister and…uh Dracula doesn't shine in the sun, does he?"

Jill and I had actually watched the movie last night, and with her being an actual vampire it had been hilarious. Of course I could never say that and had to keep acting dumb.

Jackson looked like he was regretting asking me out already "No?"

"Well everyone knows that's what true vampires do in the sun. So there is your answer" I forced a smile, even though I felt like the dumbest person alive.

"Okay…" Jackson let go of my hand as we kept walking, and I had a feeling this date was already a disaster.

The haunted house turned out to be a lot more fun than I'd imagined. I think I managed to earn back some of my dignity when I didn't frighten that easily. Apparently living with vampires had helped toughen me up a bit, and I could tell that Jackson was impressed by it.

"I actually had fun today" Jackson said as we were driving back to Clarence's. I didn't like that he'd put actually in his sentence. It made it sound like he hadn't expected to have fun with me.

"Me too" I said "And I'm sorry about acting weird…I suppose I was a bit nervous about today"

Jackson smiled, and put a hand over mine on my leg.

"I was nervous too," he told me, and I instantly felt better knowing I wasn't the only one "And even though you acted weird you managed to do it in a very cute way"

I felt my cheeks burn, and hoped he didn't notice "Thank you" I murmured sheepishly, and his response was a smile.

My phone chimed and I pulled it out to find a text from Jill:

_How's it going? Are you having fun?_

I thought about that for a second before answering.

_It's going great. I'm really enjoying it. _

Her response came a second after and made my cheeks burn even more:

_Adrian said not to enjoy yourself too much. _

"Are you okay?" Jackson asked and I realized he'd been watching me. I grimaced as I answered.

"Yes, I just have an overprotective, eh, brother that's all" I said, and shrugged.

"I have to admit that your family is quite intimidating. Especially your brother" I remembered seeing Adrian talk to Jackson while they were waiting for me, and I wondered what he could have said. I had a lot of adjectives to cover Adrian Ivashkov…intimidating wasn't one of them.

"Adrian? I hope he didn't say something too stupid" I said, and Jackson shook his head.

"No I meant your other brother, Eddie? Man if eyes could kill I'd be dead many times by now" his words brought me back to earlier when I had been caught up on the way Eddie had looked at me.

"Well he's very overprotective like that" I looked out the window, and all I could see was the way Eddie's brown eyes had been watching me.

I looked over at Jackson and wondered if he was ever going to look at me like that. Something in my mind told me thought that it would be hard to ever find anyone who looked at me the way Eddie had. And that thought scared me to death.

It was getting dark outside by the time we made it back to Clarence's. I was faced with another problem as I turned to Jackson. What was I supposed to do? Hug him? Kiss him? Sydney had told me she'd once shaken her date's hand, and that I definitely shouldn't do that.

"I really had fun today" I told Jackson, and his face lit up.

"I did too. We should go out soon again" I almost let out a breath of relief. I had a feeling it must've been quite obvious to Jackson that I had no idea what to do, and he leaned over and kissed my cheek.

"Goodnight Zoe" he said, and I smiled in return.

"Goodnight" I got out of the car, and watched him drive away. The second he did I walked back into the house, and prepared myself for whoever would question me about today.

The house was surprisingly quiet as I walked inside. Had everyone gone to sleep already? I walked through the living room, and found Eddie lying on the couch watching TV. He sat up as I entered.

"Hey!" he said, "How are you? Are you okay? Did you have fun?"

I laughed "Wow, slow down. I'm fine and yes I did have fun. You're never going to believe where he took me"

Eddie's face turned all protective, and he grabbed my hands "What? Are you okay?" he asked again, and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm fine!" Eddie's face relaxed, and his quick change of moods made me smile "He took me to a haunted house!"

Eddie let out the most wonderful, genuine laugh and it was impossible for me not to join.

"A haunted house?" he had tears in his eyes from laughing "Oh I would have loved to see your expression!"

"Very funny" I tried to act offended, but I couldn't wipe the smile off my lips "It was actually kind of funny…though I think Jackson thinks I'm crazy"

"Why would you say that?" Eddie asked, and brushed a piece of hair out of my eyes. For some reason did that single move make me forgot what I was about to say, and his hand touching my face was the only thought my mind could hold.

"What?" I asked dumbly. Eddie smiled patiently.

"Why would Jackson think you're crazy?" Eddie repeated.

"Oh right. There was this fake Dracula and he looked so funny, when you know how human you guys actually are" I didn't realize what I'd said until the words had come out.

Eddie smiled "Really? You think I seem human?"

"You know what? It's getting late I should get some sleep" I started to get up, but Eddie grabbed hold of my arm.

"Please don't go!" he said, and sounded a bit more desperate than I think he'd like to "Uh, it's just because I was watching this horror movie when you walked in, and it's really scary. I might need someone here with me" Eddie being scared was something unimaginable to me. He was the most brave, noble and badass guy I'd ever met.

I crossed my arms, and arched an eyebrow "Isn't there anyone else who can watch it with you?"

"I only want you" the intensity of his words made me forget time and place "Eh, I mean to watch the movie with…" Eddie added, but I had a feeling that was not at all what he'd meant.

A small alchemist voice in my head told me to tell him no, and go back to my bed. I had already wasted too much time being on a date, and I was here on a job, not for my own private life.

Instead I caved "Okay…I'll watch the movie with you."


	9. Surprise

Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns the VA and Bloodlines.

* * *

Christmas eve came faster than I'd expected. And it came with an unexpected companion. I woke up the morning after my date with Jackson on the couch where Eddie and I had fallen asleep last night. And I was completely entangled in his arms.

I managed to untangle myself without waking up Eddie, and rubbed my eyes as I sat up.

My whole body felt awfully sore, but I guess that's what sleeping on a couch will do to you. I still had no idea how I could possibly have fallen asleep in the arms of a vampire, wasn't I supposed to be scared to death by them?

There was no way anyone could possibly ever know about this, I realized, and before I could reconsider I walked back into my room and changed out of the emerald dress, and into my pajamas. Maybe if I was lucky Eddie wouldn't remember me being on the couch, and this would all just go away.

I lay down on my bed, but couldn't rest. I had fallen asleep in Eddie's arms. How could I have let that happen? I thought back to yesterday, and realized the highlight of the day had been my conversation with Eddie.

_I only want you_, he'd said. What did that mean? Was I reading too much into it?

My thoughts were loud in my head, and I got out of the bed and changed into my running clothes. Getting outside would do me good.

The sun had just started rising, and it wasn't too hot outside yet. As I ran I felt like my head cleared a bit. Of course I was reading too much into it. The only reason I had reacted that strongly to Eddie's words, was probably because no one ever said something like that to me. That had to be why. I am sure if Jackson had said something like that I wouldn't have been able to get it out of my mind either.

I arrived back at the house feeling refreshed, and after I'd showered and put on my clothes I walked into the kitchen to get a well-deserved cup of coffee.

I opened the door, and found Eddie inside. For some reason I blushed upon seeing him, and quickly reminded myself there was no reason to blush. Surely when he'd had his arms around me it hadn't meant anything. It was probably just something he'd done in his sleep, and didn't even remember doing…right?

"Hey" he said, and handed me the cup of coffee he was holding. I accepted it gratefully, and took a long sip. He poured himself another cup, and smiled at me.

"Thanks. I needed that"

"Sure" awkward silence followed, and you could've cut the tension in the room with a knife. I searched my mind for things to say, but came up with nothing.

"So how are you?" Eddie finally asked.

"Good, and you?" I felt like when you talk to people about the weather out of panic from having nothing else to talk about.

"Okay, I guess" he said, and looked away.

I raised an eyebrow "That was convincing"

That made him smile, and I felt myself ease up a bit.

"It's just that I have to cook the turkey for tonight with Angeline today"

"What's so bad about that?" I asked. I wanted to ask how he could possibly know how to cook a turkey, Eddie sure didn't seem like the kind of guy who spends hours on end cooking and cleaning, but something about his tone made me realize he was honestly upset by this.

"Well after a week of carefully avoiding her I have to be in the same room as her for at least a couple of hours"

I still didn't see the problem "Why would you be avoiding Angeline?"

"Because of what happened between us?" Eddie said, and the way he said it made me realize whatever he was talking about was something I should know.

"And that is?" I was worried Eddie would get mad when I didn't know, but he simply smiled at me.

"We actually used to date" Eddie told me and for some reason I held my breath.

"Used to?"

"We broke up just before you arrived in Palm Springs" I let out the breath I'd been holding, and didn't want to read into why I'd been holding it.

"Oh…why?" I asked, "I mean I don't want to pry"

Eddie laughed, "It's fine, I guess it's inevitable that you don't find out. She cheated on me" Eddie's voice turned sad, and I had a feeling it bothered him a lot more than he'd ever admit.

"I'm sorry!" I said, and grabbed his hand "I had no idea!"

"It's fine" he shrugged "I'm okay" I didn't respond but smiled instead, well aware that he wasn't okay yet.

His eyes met mine, and our gazes locked. I was still holding his hand, and everywhere his skin touched mine sent electricity through me. I didn't want to leg go of his hand. I felt like time stopped, and I realized I was holding my breath again.

Just then Adrian walked in, and stopped as he saw our entwined fingers. He raised an eyebrow, and I quickly pulled my hand back.

"Good morning" I tried to sound nonchalant, but knew I had to be blushing. The smile on Adrian's face told me I wasn't fooling anyone.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?" Adrian asked, and my gaze drifted to Eddie. I was surprised to find him looking at me too, and knew that he had to know about him having his arms around me last night and I had been a fool to think otherwise. Had it been intentional then? Had he known the effect his arm around me would have on me?

I looked back at Adrian and knew my answer had taken too long, he might have suspected something was going on before, and I had just handed him the final clue.

"Uh, yeah. Fine…and you?" I asked. I took another long sip of coffee.

"Fine thanks" Adrian was watching us with an amused expression, and I chose to escape to the living room before he could say anything else.

"Zoe!" Jill's face lit up the second she saw me "How was your date?"

I exhaled almost relieved. Dating was something I could handle talking about right now.

"It was great!" I said, and sat down beside her in the couch. I told her everything that had happened, and afterwards we analyzed practically everything Jackson had said and done.

"Well he wanted a second date. That's good" Jill said.

"Yeah, and he kissed my cheek. Is that good or bad?"

Jill looked thoughtful for a moment "Both. It would've been best if you'd kissed his cheek, but him kissing you also showed that he respects you. We can work with that"

"Did you know about Eddie and Angeline dating?" I didn't know why I asked that but for some reason I needed to know.

"Sure, she's my roommate you know" Jill shrugged it off, but I wasn't satisfied yet.

"Yeah, but were they like good together?"

Jill grimaced and at first I wondered if they weren't good together, until she answered.

"I suppose they were okay…up until the point where Angeline kissed Trey?"

"Wait a second. Angeline kissed the warrior guy?" I asked, I had only known she'd kissed someone, but Eddie had never mentioned whom.

"Yeah" Jill shook her head "It was kind of messy"

"But isn't he supposed to be hating her? Or doesn't he know she's a dhampir?"

"Oh he knows…I guess sometimes love can change people" for some reason I was reminded of Stanton's allegations about Sydney kissing Adrian. Could love change people in such a way that they went against everything they'd been taught to believe in?

I hoped not.

"That's surprising" I bit into an apple "But do you-"

"Oh come on Zoe, it's Christmas eve! Let's talk about something more fun!" Jill grinned at me.

I searched my mind "Like what?"

Just then Sydney walked into the room, and smiled at me.

"Hey! You're back. I didn't hear you come home last night. Did you have fun?" She asked me, and sat down at the table. After scanning it she grabbed an apple like I had.

"I know, and yes I did" Sydney's smile widened.

"Good" she said "Oh and Jill you know how Eddie and Angeline said they'd cook? Apparently Neil can cook too, and he offered to take over for Eddie. That way Eddie can help us today"

"What's today?" I asked, making Jill clap her hands together in excitement.

"Oh Zoe I just had an amazing idea! You should also help today!" Jill sounded so excited; it made me worry about what they were going to be doing.

"We're going to be decorating the Christmas tree!" Jill beamed "Will you do it with us? Please?" Jill asked, and looked at me expectantly.

I smiled "How could I say no to that?"

Jill, Eddie and I were all sitting on the floor around the Christmas tree, and decorating it. It was a bigger job than any of us had expected, it seemed that Clarence had quite a collection of Christmas ornaments from the years gone by, and we'd already spent half an hour discussing a color scheme.

"I still think the yellow is prettier," Jill told us, holding up two hearts.

"But we all agreed on the red one" I told her.

Jill shrugged "Well yellow would make Adrian happier"

"Do you really care that much about his feelings?" I asked surprised. I knew that she cared a great deal about Adrian, but enough to make her upset over Christmas decorations?

"Sure, but that's because of the bond" Jill told me "I don't want him to have any reason to feel sad today, I would like to enjoy Christmas Eve"

I looked from her face to Eddie's for an explanation, but they both continued decorating the tree.

"The bond?" I asked, and Jill and Eddie both looked up at me, waiting for more "What bond?" I asked, and Jill suddenly looked at Eddie and blushed.

"You don't know about the bond?" Eddie asked, and I shook my head in response.

"Oh my god. Am I even allowed to tell?" Jill who had still been looking at Eddie now turned to me "I always just blurt out these things when I trust someone. It's a bad habit"

"But what is the bond then?" I asked again. Eddie and Jill looked at each other, and I had a feeling they were having a silent discussion whether they should tell me or not.

"The bond is something wielded from spirit magic. Adrian and I are bonded. Did you hear about the attack at court? The one just before we left?"

"Yes. I read the report before coming here. It said you'd been hurt?"

Jill flinched "I died" I felt my jaw drop. Died?

"But…but you're sitting right here!" I knew I was pointing out the obvious, but I was too flabbergasted by this to think straight.

"That's because Adrian brought me back to life using his spirit magic, and that created a bond between us"

"Adrian saved your life?" I couldn't hide the disbelief in my voice "Adrian Ivashkov?"

"Your voice is slightly offending, mini-Sage" a voice said from behind me. I jumped, and turned to find Adrian leaning against the wall, watching my surprised face with an amused expression.

"So this bond" I turned back to Jill "What does it do?"

"Well I always have a hum of where Adrian is, and how he's feeling. Whenever he feels something very strongly I can be pulled right into his head"

"Talk about invasion of privacy" I muttered, and Jill smiled.

"I didn't expect you to act this calm," She told me, and I looked at Eddie who was already looking at me.

A couple of days ago when Eddie had told me that Jill had dated Micah, he first made a big deal of telling me not to freak out, saying that I always do. Apparently he wasn't the only one who thought I reacted badly a lot.

The look on Eddie's face clearly said _I told you so_, and I rolled my eyes.

"I only fainted once the first day. You guys should have a little more faith in me"

That made all of them laugh, and I joined in.

Evening came fast, and I was in my room changing clothes when a knock sounded on my door. Sydney peeked her head inside.

"Hey" she smiled "You look pretty" she walked into the room, and helped me zip the dress I had chosen for tonight. I turned around, and her eyes fell on the charm around my neck. She lifted her fingers, and lifted the little golden heart I had worn since day one in Palm Springs.

"Is this mom's?" she asked, recognizing it.

"Yeah. She gave it to me when I left home" mom had inherited it from our grandmother, who had gotten it from her mom. It had been in our family for generations.

Sydney smiled "It looks very pretty on you. Though I always knew you had a heart of gold."

Sydney walked downstairs, and I finished getting ready. I was leaving the room, when I saw something gold on the floor. I picked it up and saw that it was a tiny gold earring. It had to be Sydney's. She was the only person who had been in my room.

I walked downstairs, and into the living room and I stopped. The table was completely covered by different foods and it looked like a feast. Everyone but Sydney and Adrian were in the room, and Angeline smiled proudly when she saw the look on my face.

"Cool, huh?"

I nodded "Yeah, everything looks great!"

"And they didn't think I could cook" she told me.

"Tomorrow we'll all wake up with food poisoning," Neil said, walking past us, and sitting down beside Jill, who had Eddie on her other side.

"Have any of you seen Sydney? I found her earring"

"She's in the kitchen talking to Adrian" Neil told me, and I walked down the hallway and stepped inside the kitchen and froze.

I felt like I was watching an accident happen, and it took a minute before my brain wrapped around what I was seeing.

What was I seeing?

Right before my eyes my sister was _kissing _a vampire, and not just any vampire.

My sister was kissing Adrian Ivashkov.


	10. Truth

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My hand shook as I lifted my phone. The only light in the room was coming from the screen, and it cast long shadows around me. That was how my life felt like these days. Every good thing was followed by something bad, by consequences that forced me to look at the dark shadows of my life.

I had learned to be pretty good at ignoring them, the shadows, but now they made it hard to see clearly and I didn't know what to do.

Sydney had been lying to me all this time. I'd had a bad feeling about her and Adrian Ivashkov from the second Stanton had made the allegations against my sister, but I was still surprised by the fact that it was true. I simply thought my sister was better than that.

I looked at the number flashed on the screen. It was Stanton's number, and with one push of a button I could right my sister's wrongs and tell her everything, and Sydney would very likely be sent to re-education and get the help she desperately needed.

But could I do this? Would it still be backstabbing if I did what I did to help her?

After having walked in on Sydney and Adrian, I had stormed off to my room without waiting for an explanation.

I knew Sydney was going to come talk to me, and probably make a very compelling speech of how she did what she'd done out of love.

Feeling conflicted I thought back to old times, before Palm Springs, Sydney and I had been really close. I admired her a lot, and would always watch, as dad would teach her all about the alchemists and dream that one day I would be a part of it all.

Now I realized Sydney had been right when she'd said being an alchemist wasn't everything I thought it was, but it also made me realize that by that comment, and everything else that had happened all Sydney ever tried to do was protect me.

I could never hurt my sister, I decided, and threw my phone away.

The predictable knock on my door came, and I sat down on my bed and pulled my legs up under me. I felt more vulnerable than I had for a long time.

"Come in" my voice was surprisingly strong considering the situation. Sydney stepped inside my room, and carefully closed the door behind her.

"Zoe, I'm so sorry you had to see that" she started "And I'm sorry about lying to you. I hope you know that all I've ever wanted is to protect you"

"I know that" I whispered, "I guess I'm just confused right now"

"And you have every reason to be" Sydney sat down on the bed, and put a hand over mine. My hands were always cold, and her hand felt warm on mine. I moved my eyes from our hands to her eyes. Sydney had always been very good at masking her feelings, but right now she had put down her defenses, and I could see a mix of emotions on her face. Some I could read, but others I couldn't.

"You should've told me the truth," I told her, and she nodded.

"I realize that now"

I moved my eyes from hers "It wasn't fair to let me find out like that"

"I agree," she said without hesitating, and I knew she was speaking the truth this time.

I blinked away a tear I hadn't felt coming "You hurt me"

"I'm sorry."

I was surprised by how calm I was feeling. Maybe I was in shock and the news was still sinking in, but I felt surprisingly clearheaded.

"Does he make you happy? Adrian?"

Sydney's face lit up at the mention of him, but I don't think she knew "Very, very happy"

I shrugged "I suppose that's good"

"You're not freaking out?" Sydney was watching me with worry written all over her face.

"No, I'm not. I actually think I'm okay…okay with you being with him"

Sydney's eyebrows rose in utter surprise, and for a moment I think she was speechless.

"Are you…but you…I, eh… are you sure?"

"Yeah, as long as you make sure I don't walk in on another make-out session I think I'll be fine"

Sydney blushed, but a small smile found its way to her lips "I have to say I'm impressed. I was expecting a far worse reaction from you, once you found out"

I didn't respond, but just smiled. In one way I felt okay, shocked and surprised sure, but still okay. On the other hand the thing that bothered me most was that no one had trusted me enough to tell me what was going on.

Sydney convinced me to come back downstairs, and we all sat down for Christmas dinner. The only sound in the room was the sound of cutlery scratching the plates, and the quiet somehow seemed too loud.

"The turkey's really nice" Jill was the one to break the silence. Everyone gave vague answers, and continued eating. I felt like everyone in the room was watching me. Were they worried I might try staking Adrian with a knife? I would never do that. It would be completely useless without a silver stake, plus I didn't have the strength for it either anyway.

I figured if someone was going to break the silence –and more successfully than Jill's attempt- it was going to have to be me.

"Eddie there's something I've been wanting to ask you" everyone looked surprised at my friendly tone, and I almost rolled my eyes.

Eddie raised an eyebrow almost warily, like he was afraid of what I might say.

"What is it?"

"Well earlier when you said you were going to cook the turkey, I couldn't help thinking how on earth you'd know how to cook a turkey in the first place?"

"I was actually wondering the same thing" Sydney supplied, and we all turned to look at Eddie expectantly. Eddie wasn't one to blush often, but right now his cheeks were bright pink, and he was poking his food with a fork.

"Uh, I um actually don't remember" He said, and took a sip of his water. I didn't believe him for a second, and his reaction only made me want to know more.

"What are you hiding?" Adrian asked, curiosity filling his voice.

"Nothing. What would I be hiding?" Eddie started fidgeting with his napkin.

"Oh Eddie come on!" I said, "Since all secrets are out tonight, you might as well tell us" I said, and something in Eddie's eyes changed. I think by saying that he realized I was secretly begging him to help release some of the tension in the room, and I couldn't be sure but I think he felt sorry for me.

"I used to take cooking classes," he finally said. Silence filled the room, but that lasted for about a second and then everyone around table started laughing uncontrollably. Even I had to admit it was hard not to join in. Eddie's blush deepened, and if it had been any other situation I would've felt sorry for him.

Surely someone taking cooking classes wasn't that fun, but the idea of Eddie the badass, tough, guardian guy who by protecting the Dragomir princess was keeping the Moroi world from going into total chaos was taking cooking classes? That was pricelessly hilarious.

His eyes met mine, and I knew what he was saying. He had just saved my ass, and I was going to have to pay back some day.

Adrian recovered before the rest of us "So did you wear a pink little apron too?"

Another round of laughter filled the table, and at least my mission had been successful. All of the tension from before had gone, and I don't think anyone was even thinking about the Sydney-Adrian-kitchen-incident anymore, which I was thankful for.

"You know what guys? Laugh all you want. I had fun, and I am not going to be embarrassed about it" Eddie said, and started eating again. I had a feeling he was trying very much to act like he didn't care.

"Oh we will laugh" Jill assured him "You know when the hereditary laws come through, and I'm at court making a big speech thanking everyone who's helped me, I will be sure to mention my loyal, lethal turkey-cooking guardian"

"That's very funny" sarcasm dripped off Eddie's voice "Now can we all just move along?"

"Come on Eddie, if you didn't want us to know you shouldn't have told us about it" Jill said.

Everyone had started eating again, and as I looked around the table I noticed everyone had flushed cheeks from laughing. I couldn't help smiling, because suddenly it felt like Christmas.

"I only told because I felt-" Eddie stopped himself, and his eyes fell on me. I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say though. He only told because he had tried to help me.

"You're right. I shouldn't have told" Everyone shrugged it off, but I held Eddie's gaze. I wanted to say thank you, but right now I couldn't without having to admit to everyone that I had needed help.

When everyone was done eating dinner, and Eddie and Neil had eaten an impressive amount of turkey, I helped cleaning the table and setting up for desert.

I was in the kitchen getting out the ice cream from the freezer, when a voice from behind startled me.

"You owe me. Big time" I jumped, and almost dropped the ice cream. Eddie stood behind me, and helped me put the ice cream on the kitchen table before I actually did drop it.

"I know," I told him earnestly "Thanks for helping me out in there"

"You know I would say you're welcome, but it wasn't like you gave me a choice" I thought back to the when Eddie had told his cooking-story, but didn't know what he was referring to.

"Oh come on Zoe" Eddie said, reading the confusion on my face "When you looked at me like that with those big brown eyes you really didn't leave me much choice" Eddie was smiling, but his voice was serious.

Now he was the one looking at me in a way that made me forget where I was, and what I was doing.

"I…"

"It's okay" Eddie grinned at me "Pretty girls like you can never really help it. You remind me of a friend of mine, Rose, she always had boys chasing her too" I was about to tell Eddie that boys didn't chase me, but realized it wasn't true. I was going out with Jackson, and Eddie's friend Micah had asked me out the second he thought I was single, and I now had….Eddie chasing me too?

I looked at Eddie, about to tell him he was wrong, and I didn't want him chasing me, but there was something about the way he looked at me. For some reason I couldn't get the words out.

"Don't worry" Eddie told me, still wearing that ridiculously adorable smile "I won't kiss you or anything like that. I have a feeling when the time comes, you'll be the one to kiss me"

I might have started to think of Eddie as a friend, but his word was like a slap in the face. A slap that effectively reminded me of who I was, and what my opinion of vampires was supposed to be.

"You're fooling yourself. The time will never come where I even touch you willingly"

Eddie's smile faded, but for some reason it made his eyes that more intense.

"Oh was that why you fell asleep in my arms yesterday?"

Eddie walked out of the kitchen before I had a chance to speak, and I was left standing there feeling both embarrassed and angry.

I looked around the kitchen, and a shudder went through me. So many things had happened in this kitchen today, and I wanted to forget all of them.

I walked to the door, and as I had my hand on the doorknob someone opened it from the other side. Jill stepped inside, wearing her usual smile, and was humming.

She jumped up on the kitchen counter, and started swinging her legs. I wasn't sure why, but the way she acted made alarm bells go off in my head. The way she was acting, I had seen it in other people before…but what did it mean?

"Dinner was fun, don't you think?" Jill looked at me, and her grin widened "It was good you made Eddie tell that story. We've all been trying to get it out of him, I'm surprised you were the one to succeed"

If you'd walked in about two minutes before, you wouldn't have been so surprised, I thought to myself, and shuddered at the thought of anyone hearing what Eddie had just said to me.

"Yeah, me too" I said absentmindedly. I had much more important things to be thinking about right now rather than Jill's weird behavior.

"Did you see Eddie blush?" Jill bit her lip, and I nodded. I didn't want to be talking, or thinking, or worrying about Eddie at all, but I was doing all three things.

"Wasn't it just the cutest thing ever?" That was when it hit me. The way Jill acted, the smile on her face, the way she swung her legs while humming…I felt all blood drain from my face, and looked up at her.

"Jill? Do you _like_ Eddie?" the look on her face said it all, and for some reason I felt nauseous.

"What? Why would you say that?"

I shrugged "It's just an observation"

"Damn, you're good" Jill said, and if possible her grin widened even more "But yeah…I think I might be in love with him."

I went to go to bed shortly after that feeling dizzy and mentally drained. I was back in the dark of my room, but as I lay down in my bed and closed my eyes all I could see was Eddie's intense gaze as he'd looked at me.

_Don't worry. I won't kiss you or anything like that. I have a feeling when the time comes you'll be the one to kiss me. _

Eddie's words haunted me, and I didn't know which I found the scariest. The fact that Eddie had actually dared saying that to my face…or the fact that no matter how much I kept reassuring myself he was wrong, I couldn't help thinking maybe he wasn't.


	11. (Not so) Happy Christmas

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I was walking outside. The air was cold, so cold that I could see my own breath. Soft, thick snowflakes fell all around me, and I held up my hand, and watched one land in my palm and slowly melt.

I think that was the moment I realized I had to be dreaming. It might be Christmas, but it wasn't snowing in Palm Springs.

I turned around, and took in the sight of the foreign landscape. Tall pine trees covered in snow stood around me, and in the far distance I could see majestic mountains behind them. Yes, this landscape was definitely different from the desert I usually saw when looking out the window.

The few steps I had taken were all marked in the snow, and I leaned down, and with one pale finger traced the frame of my footstep.

"Are you cold?" the sudden sound of someone's voice made me spin around, and search for the person who'd said the words. Adrian walked out from the shadows of the pine trees. He was wearing a suit, and looked completely unbothered by the snow.

I thought back to his question, and shook my head "No, I'm not"

Adrian nodded, and took another step closer. Him approaching me made me take a step back.

"That's good. Do you like the view?" Adrian gestured to the mountains "I had a feeling this would be your kind of place"

"I have never been to a place like this before" I told him "But I like it. It's very quiet yet very pretty"

Adrian smiled "Just like you"

Adrian Ivashkov had quite a reputation when it came to women, and from I knew let's just say it wasn't complimentary.

Frowning I asked "Are you flirting with me?"

Adrian's smirk disappeared, and he shook his head "No, absolutely not! I'd never do that"

I wasn't convinced "I heard you'd flirt with anything that has a pulse"

"Maybe before, but ever since I met…" he hesitated, watching my expression and then decided to go on "Ever since I met your sister that has changed"

"Now you only flirt with her?"

"You are a lot more straightforward in a dream than you are in reality, did you know that?"

I thought about that and realized I had never considered how I acted in dreams. Come to think of it this didn't feel like a dream. Surely the mountains, and snow was dream-like, but the conversation felt almost too real.

"I guess I never really thought about that" I told him, Adrian took a step closer and this time I stayed where I was.

"Well then you learned something knew" Adrian said.

I sat up in my bed, and realized I was hard breathing. Had I been dreaming? My body felt heavy, like I hadn't really been sleeping. I was still sitting in my bed, when Sydney stuck her head inside my room.

"Oh good you're up. Are you going to come downstairs? You can keep your pajamas on, everyone else has too"

I still felt tired, and had to stop because I yawned before asking her "What's going on?"

"It's Christmas? Your favorite day of the year? The on day you actually allow yourself ice cream?"

Right. Christmas. How could I have forgotten about Christmas?

I jumped out of bed, and after a moment of hesitation decided to go downstairs in my Pajamas. Sydney was of course wearing her usual khakis and a T-shirt, but she was also the last person I'd expect to see in her pajamas around people.

"Hey Zoe!" Jill jumped up from where she was sitting before the Christmas tree "Merry Christmas! We were waiting for you before we unpacked the presents! But now that you're here let's begin! This one is for you" Jill thrust a present into my hand, and looked at me expectantly.

It was in that moment I realized I hadn't bought any presents for anyone but Sydney. I hadn't expected anything from them either. With a panicked expression I looked at Sydney, and she must've read the expression on my face, because she went to the tree and picked up a present.

"Jill this one is to you from Zoe" Jill's whole face lit up, and she pulled me in and hugged me. It was quick, but I had frozen in her embrace, and quickly unpacked the gift before anyone noticed.

Jill had bought me a pair of pearl earrings. They were round, and probably the prettiest present I had ever gotten. I looked up at Jill and felt both embarrassed and overwhelmed.

"It's fine" Jill said, and rolled her eyes "You've been so nice to us, you deserve them"

It didn't take long before everyone had a present, and everyone where opening them, and thanking each other and trying the new things they had gotten.

As I looked around the room I couldn't help thinking how much I missed my mother. Christmas was my favorite time a year, mostly because it was time mostly spent with your family.

Just as I thought that my phone rang, and as I saw the name lit on the display my heart skipped a beat.

"Mom?!" I asked, unable to hide the joy in my voice. Sydney looked up at me, and smiled.

"Hey Sweetie" I walked up the stairs to my room, to be able to talk more privately.

"Merry Christmas" tears filled my eyes as I spoke the words, and my heart felt heavier than ever before.

"Merry Christmas, darling. I have been thinking about you all morning. Did you get some nice presents?"

"Yeah, I got loads, and they were really cool" I told her.

"And you're okay being around _them_?"

I shrugged out of habit, and then felt stupid as I realized she couldn't see it "It gets easier over time, I guess"

"I'm glad. Your sister has been very worried about you, and so have I. I hope you know I miss you"

"Of course mom. I miss you too"

I blinked another round of tears away, and tried to think of something happy. For some reason Eddie's face popped into my mind, but I quickly dismissed that thought.

"Well I better let you get back. I'll call you soon, bye sweetie"

"Bye mom, I love you" I moved the phone from my ear, and watched the screen as the line disconnected, and then the screen went black.

Just then a knock sounded on my door, and as I opened it Eddie stood before me, as I guess I should've foreseen, and looked annoyingly cute in his pajamas, even if it was just sweats and a T-shirt.

"Hey" he said, in that casual way he always did "Merry Christmas" before I had a chance to say anything he handed me a present I hadn't seen under the tree.

"Eddie…" I started to object, but he lifted a hand to stop me.

"Just open it"

I opened it before I could change my mind, and inside was a bracelet made of small silver stars, it was very, very pretty and I looked surprised at Eddie.

"I can't accept this!" I told him, looking back at the bracelet I realized this was the nicest gift anyone had ever gotten me.

"Of course you can. It wasn't all that expensive…I just saw it and I thought about the game we played at the diner, remember? With the stars?"

A smile played on my lips as I recalled that day "Yeah, I remember"

"Well that's how many stars I'd give you" I looked up at Eddie's eyes, unable to find a proper thing to say.

A nagging voice in my head kept telling me this was wrong, it was getting too close. This last week I had been getting a lot closer to Eddie than any of the other vampires, and I suddenly felt sick thinking about this. Who was I to judge Sydney if I wasn't any better myself? That was when my head made a choice, and ignored my heart's protests.

I did my best at masking my feelings, before I started talking.

"Well I meant what I said before. I can't accept this, I wasn't trying to be nice, I was just trying to be professional"

Eddie's whole expression changed as my cold words hit him, and the look on his face broke my heart.

"Oh" was all he managed to say.

"So please" I lifted the hand that still held the bracelet "Take this away from me" Eddie lifted his hand, and I let the bracelet drop into his open palm. Without another word Eddie turned and walked away.

I had just reacted the way an alchemist was supposed to, I had just done what was right, and the only thing to do. But how come I felt so wrong then?

"Zoe?" Sydney called my name from downstairs, and I walked down the stairs to find her waiting for me.

"I have to run to the store and get some ice cream for tonight. Would you like to come?" I jumped up before she'd even finished her sentence.

"Yes!" I told her, I could definitely need the space and time away from everyone, Eddie in particular. After our encounter in the kitchen last night, I had felt strange even thinking about being in the same room with him again, and now after what had just happened with his gift I felt like I could really use some time away from the house.

As we were driving I rolled down the window –yes Sydney complained about the heat, and the air condition- and stuck my head out, letting the wind blow my hair in every direction. I stayed like that for a few minutes, and then leaned back inside the car. Sydney eyed me curiously.

"You do realize that's no what people mean when they say they want to 'clear their head'"

I rolled my eyes "That's hilarious"

"In all seriousness though are you okay, Zoe?" Sydney kept her gaze on the road, but I could read the concern in her voice without seeing her face.

"I am," I told her "I don't know how, but I am"

Sydney smiled, like she really didn't believe me, but didn't say another word for the rest of the trip.

We stopped at a supermarket just outside town, and Sydney and I went inside. The store was packed with people, and Sydney sent me an exasperated look, as we had to push through the crowd of people.

Sydney turned to me "Jill just texted me that we need some butter too. If you go find that, then I'll get the ice-cream and we'll meet at the counter?"

"Okay" I told her, and we walked our separate ways.

I was checking whether the butter I was holding was organic, when someone tapped my shoulder.

"Sydney!" I turned to find a young woman looking expectantly at me.

"Excuse me?" I asked. I didn't recognize ever seeing the woman before.

"You are Sydney right? Sydney Sage? I recognize your tattoo"

"Oh, I'm her younger sister. We have the same tattoo" I wondered how many times I was going to have to tell that to people. Sydney and I needed to come up with a cover story as to why we had the same tattoo.

"Oh I'm sorry! You do look younger than her. I'm a friend of hers" the woman looked to be about five or ten years older than me, and as I looked at her I noticed I had never seen that many necklaces on one person before in my life, she had to be wearing at least ten different ones around her neck.

"Oh that's great!" I said and I meant it. So far this girl was the first human friend of Sydney's I had met since my arrival in Palm Springs.

"You know I have a Christmas gift for her, would you mind giving it to her from me?" the girl asked. I nodded happily. Sydney and I didn't have that many friends growing up, because we were always busy training to become an alchemist. If going here had gotten Sydney some friends, it made it a little more manageable to live here.

The woman reached into her purse, and pulled out a small gift-wrapped present. As she was handing it to me, she dropped it on the floor. I bent down to pick it up, and as I looked up again the woman had gone.

Fifteen minutes later Sydney and I were in the car again on the way back to Clarence's. Sydney was telling me about some woman who'd practically knocked her over in the store.

"Why are people acting like this?" she had asked me, frustration filling her voice.

I had to hide a smile as I answered, "Because it's Christmas!"

Sydney had responded by rolling her eyes. I always knew Sydney didn't have the same feelings towards everything Christmassy as I did. She loved Christmas, but in a more rational, logical way than the overly giddy and happy way I did.

As Sydney and I walked back inside the house, I realized I had forgotten all about the friend of Sydney's I had met, and as we stood inside the kitchen, I handed her the present.

"And you didn't get the person's name?" she asked me, as she unwrapped the gift.

"No, I'm sorry. She was gone too fast I didn't even-" Sydney pulled out a necklace from the box…and screamed. It was the scariest thing I had ever heard, and just like she fell to the ground and started shaking. Her eyes turned completely black and a white, foamy substance spilled out of her mouth.

Eddie and Adrian came running into the kitchen, and stopped as they took in the situation before their eyes.

"What happened?!" Eddie asked, kneeling next to Sydney on the ground.

"I don't know! One minute we were talking, the next she was like that!" tears had already started spilling from my eyes, but my arms felt limb and didn't move to wipe them away.

"What were you doing?" Adrian asked, he also kneeled next to Sydney, and even though it had only been seconds ago, my mind felt strangely foggy.

"I don't know" I looked around the kitchen and then saw the wrapper from the gift on the table "The present! She was opening a present!"

"A present?" Adrian and Eddie shared a look, but I don't think any of them had any more clue as to what was going on than I did

"What present?" Adrian asked.

"It was a necklace! She got it from a woman I met in the store. She recognized my tattoo and thought I was Sydney, she said it was a Christmas present"

A line of worry formed on Adrian's forehead "What did this woman look like?"

Sydney let out another scream, and I felt like my heart broke at the sound. She sounded like she was in so much pain.

"She…" I tried picturing the woman, but again I felt like I couldn't remember. What was going on? It felt like someone had messed with my head.

"Zoe! What did the woman look like? Was she tall? Skinny? Fat? Blonde?" Eddie pushed, frustration colored his words, and as he said the last word it was like I broke through the barrier in my mind.

"Blonde. Like platinum, and she wore _a lot _of necklaces and-"

"I know who it is" Adrian's words came out as a snarl, and I had a feeling whoever she was he didn't like her. He then turned back to me.

"Do you know Greek?"

I blinked, and wondered if I had heard him wrong "Greek?"

"Yes, Greek?"

I narrowed my eyes "Of course I do, but what has it got to do with anything?"

Adrian turned to Jill whom I hadn't noticed standing behind me.

"Get the book," he told her, and Jill ran out the room.

"Adrian I don't understand what's going on" I sounded desperate, but I didn't care. No one answered me, but all of a sudden Eddie was glaring at Adrian, who didn't seem to care. It took me a moment to realize that they were having a silent argument. I had a feeling whatever was in this book Jill was getting, Eddie knew I wouldn't like.

Jill returned within seconds, and was holding a big, worn book with a broken spine. She handed it to Adrian, who leafed through the pages impatiently.

He then held the book up for me to take it, and I did without questioning it. The text was written in Greek as I'd expected, and I looked at Adrian for further instructions.

"Read it," he ordered. I obeyed and read the text out loud. We all waited in silence, but nothing happened. Sydney had gone really pale, and her eyes were still black as coal.

"You have to really mean it" Adrian told me "Do you want her to get better?"

"What kind of question is that?" I was getting annoyed with all this "We should call an ambulance"

"We don't have to. Read it again"

I looked back at Sydney, and swallowed hard. I then reread the small text, which spoke of the moon and the sun.

Sydney started coughing, and slowly but steadily the color returned to her cheeks, and her eyes turned normal.

I felt like my heart went from not beating at all to beating rapidly, and I fell to my knees feeling absolutely drained from energy.

Sydney looked around the room, and her eyes lingered on me before she turned to Adrian, who was still kneeling beside her.

"What happened?" she asked. Her voice sounded hoarse, and she cleared her throat. Adrian, who had been smiling from the second Sydney started to get better, suddenly wore a grim expression.

"It's Alicia" he paused, and I watched all color drain from my sister's face, "I think she's back."


	12. Heart Of Gold

**Hey Guys! Guess what? It's my birthday! I'm turning 18 today! So of course I have to celebrate by updating!**

**I really love how this chapter turned out, and can't wait to hear what you guys thought of it. **

**Review and let me know?**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns the VA and Bloodlines. **

* * *

This might not have been the best idea I had ever had, but it had felt like the right thing to do at the time.

But now…now I felt like I was in the making of a huge mistake. Surely I had my reasons, I wasn't just acting without thinking, I _had _thought about this. A lot.

I started tapping my fingers against the boarding pass I was holding in my hand, and look up at the small screen telling me my flight was delayed.

As I sat here I couldn't help thinking about my conversation with Sydney. The one I'd had just before I made the decision to do what I was about to do.

* * *

"So…you're a what? Witch?" I was too shocked to freak out. Someone had handed me a glass of water, but I hadn't touched it.

Sydney looked exhausted as she responded "Yes, kind of anyone. It's a little more complicated than that"

"Complicated how?" I asked. I felt just as tired as Sydney did, but mostly I also felt betrayed. When Sydney had told me about her and Adrian, she had promised she had no more secrets and that I knew everything there is to know. This isn't exactly the kind of thing you'd forget to mention, and that's how I knew I had been lied to again. I had gone for the logical reason, it was my nature to do so, but I secretly wished I could just for today be naïve enough to think she had just forgotten to tell me.

These last few days with Sydney and I getting along again had been amazing, I always felt better when she was around. Like I could be sure I was protected, because I had my sister. Now the girl sitting before me felt like a stranger, someone not worthy of my trust, and it broke my heart.

"Zoe, it's best if you don't know. The girl, Alicia, she's a very bad person and I'm afraid she'll come looking for you. The less you know, the safer you'll be"

"So that's what all this is about? Keeping me safe?"

"Yes!" Sydney said, and looked relieved. I scoffed.

"And how many times did you plan to use that one? Don't you think I've been lied to enough?"

"Zoe! Please believe me! I am doing everything in my power to keep you safe. I'm still me, I am still the sister you've always known"

Her words sent another wave of bitterness over her betrayal run through me, and I couldn't sit here quietly anymore as I watched my world fall apart.

"The sister I know" I yelled "She believes in logic and science and she does certainly not believe in magic! She _hates _vampires!"

"But I've changed! Zoe-"

"I don't care! Don't you see how wrong this is? Wielding magic?"

Sydney got up from her chair as well, and placed both hands on her hips

"Of course I know that! I'm still me…only more-"

"Only more what?" I cut her off "Rebellious? Is this some kind of act to prove that the alchemists can't control you?"

"No, I am not trying to prove anything! I am just trying to figure out who I am. And by being with Adrian and using magic I am more me than I have ever been"

"Well that's really bad news then, because this 'new you' isn't the sister I know and love"

I knew from the look in her eyes, that my words had hurt her. With a small voice she asked "What am I then to you?"

"You're the screwed up version of a girl I used to admire" I turned around and, practically ran up to my room.

Tears were streaming down my face, and I wanted nothing more than to run back downstairs and tell my sister that I loved her.

Sadly it seemed that everything had changed, and the girl downstairs might look like my sister, but she wasn't her.

With shaking hands I pulled out my phone from my pocket, and dialed Stanton's number. I had said there was no way I could hurt my sister like this, but the girl downstairs wasn't my sister.

Stanton answered on the first ring "Yes?"

"Ma'am? I think we need to talk" My voice shook and clearly gave away that I was crying.

Stanton hesitated before answering "Zoe? Is everything okay?"

"No" I wiped my nose with my sleeve, and tried to hold back the tears falling from my eyes "No, it's not."

* * *

And that was how I'd ended up here. Sitting in the airport ready to board a plane that would take me to New York, which was were Stanton was at the moment. I was going to tell her about what my sister had become, I was going to let her know about Adrian and the magic, and hopefully Sydney would get the help she so desperately needed.

I was doing this because I wanted to save the girl my sister used to be. I used to admire Sydney, she was greater than life itself to me, and this new person she had become was going to have to be erased, and then hopefully she and I could start over.

I had told Sydney I was leaving to spend New Years at home, I think she believed me when I told her, and normally I would've felt bad about it, but after everything I didn't like I should be the one who was feeling sorry for the other.

"Flight 201 to New York now boarding" a machine like voice announced, and I got up from the chair I had been sitting in.

I boarded the plane, and as I sat down and waited for takeoff another memory rolled over me from yesterday when I had announced I was going to be gone for the weekend. This one almost hurt me more than the one with Sydney, but right now I was too tired to think of why.

* * *

I had always liked packing. I liked that I was allowed to be completely, and obsessively organized and people didn't think it was weird.

Today I hated packing. I didn't even look at the clothes I angrily threw into my suitcase. I just made sure I had the right amount. Tears threatened to fall from my eyes, and it took every bit of my self-control not to cry.

The thought of telling Stanton everything had been playing in the back of my mind for a couple of days, but every time it had resurfaced in my head I had dismissed it, telling myself it would be going too far.

Ever since I had talked to Stanton a couple of hours ago, I had felt scared. I wasn't sure why, but I was terrified about going. I kept telling myself I was doing the right thing, but it never felt right.

I decided then to just pretend like I was packing to go home, and everything was okay between my sister and I. I was able to keep that up for about a second, before I realized I was being absolutely foolish.

A knock on my door made me jump, and if it had been any other situation I would've happily welcomed the distraction. Now? Now I was just terrified of the chance that I might have to look my sister in the eye.

I opened the door, and found Eddie outside my room. Why was he always everywhere? I didn't try to hide the frown I knew I had to be wearing upon seeing him, and he didn't seem like he cared.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, placing my hands on my hips.

"I heard your fight with Sydney," he told me, he was acting almost sheepishly, like the way you'd have expected someone who had been eavesdropping on a conversation would act.

"So?" I asked, annoyance shone clearly through my voice.

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay"

"It's not your job to make sure I'm okay" I was surprised by how cold my voice sounded, and the look on Eddie's face turned hard.

"Why do you have to be this way? You're so undependable! One day you're all nice and fun and you act like you're happy here, and the next you're all 'I hate all vampires' and I am getting sick of it"

"Then don't be around me," I snapped, and Eddie surprised me by taking a step closer. My head was screaming at me to take a step back, but my body wouldn't let me. Part of me wanted to what he was going to do.

"I can't! Don't you see? It's not like I want to be chasing you, and want to be treated like crap by you, I just can't help being around you"

I was holding my breath. Eddie was _so_ close to me, as he spoke his lips was just inches from mine, which was surprisingly distracting. Still his words left me confused, and I had to ask.

"Why do you do it then?"

"I think you know" he told me, and leaned closer. His lips were so close to mine, he was going to kiss me. My whole body felt excited and curious and scared and…wrong. It felt wrong. Something inside of me changed, and I pulled away the second before his lips would have touched mine.

"No" I told him, my whole body was shaking, but I wasn't sure whether it was in a good or bad way "No! You can't kiss me!"

It took Eddie a moment to find his voice, and when he did he was still confused "Why?"

"Because I can't. It's not supposed to be…It's wrong. You can't ever kiss me. I am not going to let you"

I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince, him or me, and with my shaking voice I was pretty sure I didn't sound all that convincing.

"Zoe, you're fooling yourself if you're going to pretend you didn't want me to kiss you"

"And you're delusional if you really believe that" I slammed the door.

* * *

"Miss? We're getting ready for landing" A flight attendant softly shook my shoulder. I changed my seat to sit upright again, and rubbed my eyes. I hadn't slept at all since my fight with Sydney yesterday, and was surprised by how heavy my head still felt. I was sitting by the aisle, and tried to look out the window but couldn't see anything. I leaned back in my seat, and pretended not to care. I was getting pretty good at that.

As I walked out of the airport a man in a black suit was holding a sign with my name on it.

Zoe Melrose.

Or almost my name, I had only had to live with the fake last name I had been given when moving to Palm Springs for a week, but I was already getting sick of looking at it. I missed being Zoe Sage. She seemed like a lot less confused girl than the one I was now.

The driver took me to a hotel that had been booked for me by Stanton, this was also where we were going to have our meeting.

Once I had unpacked my bags, I texted Stanton to let her now I had arrived. Her answer came a minute after:

_Okay. Go to the receptionist and tell her your name, she will lead you to a room where we can talk privately. I will see you in a few minutes._

I wasn't the least bit surprised that Stanton wanted to begin already. The alchemists never wasted time and were known for extreme efficiency.

I did as I was told, and the receptionist led me down a long hallway, which was brightly lit and made me want to squeeze my eyes shut. She stopped at the last door on my right side, and told me to go in.

I opened the door, not allowing myself time to hesitate. As I walked inside I heard the sound of something small hitting the ground. I looked down, and realized I had dropped my necklace. I lifted the heart of gold I always wore on a chain around my neck, and suddenly Sydney's voice rang loud in my heart.

_I always knew you had a heart of gold_.

Suddenly betrayal ran through me again, stronger and more powerful than before. I felt like it took all my energy to stand up again, because this time I didn't feel the betrayal turned against me. I felt like I was betraying my sister.

I sat down at the table after reattaching the necklace around my neck. Stanton was sitting at the table wearing khaki pants, and a white button-down shirt. She had a pen and paper ready to take notes for what I was about to tell her.

I opened my mouth, ready to tell her all the horrible things I had witnessed since arriving in Palm Springs, but nothing came out.

Stanton started talking, sensing my insecurity.

"So, Zoe, you called and said you had some new information in the case against your sister. Is it true? Is she really having a relationship with a vampire?"

It was typical Stanton to go straight to the point, and I got myself together, knowing exactly what I was going to say. There was only one way to get this thing out of the world forever.

"No, Ma'am" I told her "But I am."


	13. The Call

**This chapter is written from Sydney's POV.**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns the VA and Bloodlines.**

* * *

I knew Zoe was mad at me. Probably madder than she had ever been before, and I knew she wasn't going to call me when she arrived at our home in Utah, where she was spending New Years, so I decided to call our mother myself, and ask her to tell Zoe to call me.

That was when I started worrying. Mom hadn't heard any news of Zoe coming to spend New Years with her, and that meant I had no idea where Zoe was.

I called her cell five times, and then Eddie made me call her another five times, but it made no difference. She wasn't picking up.

That led me to going to the extremes I had now gone to. I was standing in Zoe's room, ready to search it for any clue of where she could be, but something stopped me. I had hurt my sister a lot in the week she had spent in Palm Springs, and now, by invading her privacy, I felt like I was going a step too far.

"What are you waiting for?" Jill asked behind me, I didn't turn to look at her, but stayed on the doorstep.

"I don't know. What if…what if there's something in here she didn't want me to find? Or know about?"

Jill leaned against the wall beside me, in a way much similar to the way Adrian did it.

"Then she should have thought of that before lying to you about where she was going"

I still didn't feel right about it "But I've lied to her too…"

"What if something has happened to her? She would want you to find her and help" Jill's words and the thought of my sister being hurt made a shiver run through me.

"But she had a reason to leave, otherwise she would've never left in the first place. I'm sure she's not hurt" I made sense, as usual. But for the first time ever did logic not calm me down. I was worried about Zoe, I didn't like the fact that she had lied to me, of course, but right now that didn't matter. The only thing I wanted to know was whether she was okay.

"Just go in there, Sydney" Jill said, "No matter the situation we need to know where she is"

I walked inside the room, and looked around. Her room looked normal, the same as it had before she left. It was extremely tidy. She had a pile of books on her desk, and they lay neatly in alphabetical order. Her bed was made, and the only sign of someone having recently been in the room was an open notebook that lay on the floor.

I picked it up, and saw that it was actually a scrapbook. I leafed through the book and saw many familiar pictures, but mostly I saw my own face smiling back at me, posing for our holiday album.

Carly, my elder sister, was big on holiday albums. Every time we would go on a holiday, Carly would bring her ridiculously expensive camera, and have the whole family posing for thousand of pictures. When we arrived home after a holiday Carly would spend days only gluing the scrapbook together, and when it was done the whole family would sit together and look through it.

Those evenings were some of the happiest memories of my childhood.

I left the scrapbook on the desk, and stood still in the room for a moment, frozen. It wasn't until now I realized how much I missed my sister, and just getting along with her.

Memories floated back to me, memories of being together and having fun without the eyes of the alchemists watching our every move, and pulling us apart.

Tears threatened to fall from my eyes, and I looked around the room, wanting so badly to see Zoe sitting on her bed reading a book.

Where was she? Why had she lied? My thoughts were choking me, and I was about ready to run out of the room screaming, when I noticed something on the table.

It was an old photograph, it had Zoe and me on it, but I never recalled seeing it before. I turned it and saw it had a small note written on the backside:

_To Sydney, for always being there for me. I love you, Zoe. _

A lump formed in my throat when I saw this was dated the same day Zoe had arrived in Palm Springs.

She had probably wanted to give it to me, when arriving here, but wanted the moment to be right. Zoe was like that. It would have been typical of her to find a perfect moment, and hand it over to me. She would have loved making me happy.

I had one more thing I could do as a way of finding Zoe before I knew I was going to have to call Stanton, and so I called Zoe's almost-boyfriend Jackson.

He answered on the third ring.

"Hello?"

I took a deep breath, and did my best to sound casual "Jackson? It's Sydney Sage"

"Oh hey Sydney" he sounded mildly confused when he found out I was the one calling him, and I didn't blame him.

"I was just wondering if Zoe by any chance told you were she was flying this morning?"

There was a moment of silence, but then he asked, "Zoe left town?"

I didn't answer right away, because I couldn't find any reason why Zoe would go without telling Jackson, if she really was just leaving to go home.

"Eh, yeah. Didn't she tell you?"

"No she didn't. She was supposed to meet me for coffee this morning, but she never showed…is she okay?"

On a scale of how worried I was from 1-10, I just passed 20. Zoe wasn't one to not show up at meetings or dates, she would always arrive at least 15 minutes early. Being practical had been drilled into her since she was a child, just like it had me.

My head only found one solution. Zoe had to have left in a hurry. But _why_?

"I hope so" I told Jackson, and hung up the phone.

Adrian, who had been watching me-and I'm sure my aura too- through the conversation, walked to me, and brushed a piece of hair out of my face.

"What's going on?" he asked, worry written all over his face.

"I don't know" I told him earnestly "But something's very, very wrong"

"Sydney?" Eddie called my name from the living room, and I walked to him.

"What is it?" I asked Eddie, who was holding a package.

"This just came for you" Eddie told me, and handed me the package.

I opened it, and inside found Zoe's phone, passport, purse, and the necklace with a golden heart charm, that she always wore. It was all of her personal items, for a moment my heart stopped. Had something really, really terrible happened to my sister?

"There's a note," Eddie told me, and I held up the paper with shaking hands.

_Sydney. _

_Call me the second you read this. _

_-Stanton_

"What's it say?" Adrian asked, and I held up the note for him and Eddie to see. They both read it and looked questioning back at me.

"You better call her," Adrian said, and I pulled my phone from my pocket.

"You don't think…you don't think she's dead…do you?" Jill's voice sounded small, and I hadn't noticed her entering the room.

"No, I'm sure we would have heard it by now if something like that had happened" I assured her, though I had a very bad feeling in my stomach.

I dialed Stanton's number, and didn't wait for her to speak before I did.

"What's going on?" I asked, "Where's Zoe? Is she okay?"

"Miss Sage, take a deep breath, your sister is fine" I exhaled relieved, and sank back into the couch.

"Thank god. Where is she then?"

"Well Sydney, it seems that we have a lot to talk about. Your sister called me two days ago, and said she had to report an illegal relationship. I told her to meet with me in New York and she did"

I sat upright in the couch, my heart hammering in my chest. No, Zoe! Why would you do that, I thought.

"Well, what did she tell you ma'am?" I was going to play it dumb as long as I possibly could.

"To be honest, Miss Sage, we suspected the relationship was between you and Mr. Ivashkov, but luckily Zoe explained everything to us, and we realized we were mistaken with our allegations against you"

I had not seen that coming. Zoe had somehow managed to protect me?

"Ma'am, what exactly did Zoe say?" that bad feeling from before started in me again. The alchemists weren't ones to admit to being mistaken all that often, and if Zoe had someone managed to convince them I was innocent in this case, she would have had to go to extreme measures to do so.

"She told us we had the wrong Sage sister, she confessed to us that she was the one who had been secretly having a relationship with Mr. Ivashkov"

I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach, and I was now gasping for air. Horror filled my body, and I felt tears sting my eyes.

My voice came out shaky as I spoke my next question "And what did you do about that ma'am?"

"The only thing we could do, of course. We send her to the re-education center."


	14. In My Dreams

**Hey guys! I'm sorry it's been so long since my last update!**

**I've tried something new with this chapter****. The first part is from Zoe's POV, and the second is from Sydney's. **

**I hope it's not too confusing, and if it is let me know!**

**Please review!**

* * *

_**Zoe's POV**_

I had done a lot of stupid things in my life.

When I was two years old I ate coal, because I thought it would be fun. When I was seven I punched a boy from my school, because he had confessed to having a crush on me. When I was ten years old I tried to jump of the roof of my house in Utah.

I had learned from life that stupid decisions are generally followed by uncomfortable consequences.

My very concerned mother, who had made me brush my teeth so many times my gums started bleeding, was the result of the coal-thing. After I had punched the boy in school my father told me he was disappointed in me, and the only thing I got out of jumping of the roof was a broken leg, and an angry set of parents.

Every bad decision or stupid idea that I made was followed by punishment, and I knew this from experience. So I can't help wondering why do I keep making bad decisions?

My most recent bad idea had been confessing to being in an illegal relationship with my sister's boyfriend, who also happened to be a Moroi. I'd done it to save her from the severe punishment she was sure to go through, if the alchemists ever found out the truth. The only thing I hadn't considered was what happened to me after I'd taken the blame for her.

I had expected to feel happy, and relieved. I'd saved my sister. I'd done something good.

The alchemists did not see it that way. I might have expected them to react badly, but never like this.

I'd been sent to the re-education center. Which was a place where people were sent to correct the errors of their ways. I remember Sydney once saying that re-education "Was just a nice way of saying brainwashing."

But I tried not to think of it like that.

While being in the re-education center sleep seemed like my only salvation. I was able to shut out the things going on around me, shut off all my thoughts and worries, and let myself be carried into oblivion.

Not tonight though.

Tonight I found myself standing in Adrian's apartment. Adrian was in front of me, and for the first time ever since I met him, did Adrian Ivashkov not look perfect. His hair wasn't styled; he had dark circles under his eyes, and his expensive silk shirt looked crumpled.

It took me a moment to realize I was dreaming, and when I did it still didn't feel right. Something about this dream made all the alarms in my head go off, but I couldn't quite grasp the reason why.

My eyes turned to Adrian again, and I was surprised by how _real _he looked. If it wasn't for the fact that I knew I was in a different part of the country than him, I could've sworn I was wide awake.

Adrian took a step towards me.

"It's okay, Zoe" Adrian told me, as he watched my panicked eyes flicker around the room frantically. My head was having trouble readjusting to this new scene. Hadn't I just been in my cell at the re-education center trying to get some sleep?

"Where am I?!" I didn't mean to yell. I hadn't even known I was going to, until my voice came out louder than I'd expected, and surprised both of us. Something about this felt really, _really_ wrong.

"Zoe, are you okay?" Adrian asked his eyes were wide and concerned, but I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying.

"I have to get out of here!" I cried, and felt my heartbeat pick up. I felt desperate like an animal trapped in a cage. I had to get out.

"Zoe" something about the way he'd said my name this time made me listen. I looked up at him, and when he seemed positive he had my full attention he started speaking again.

"Where are you? In real life? In the re-education center? Where do they keep you?" Adrian was throwing questions at me, and I wanted nothing more than to answer him.

"I don't know" my voice shook, and I felt tears fill my eyes. Adrian's eyes filled with compassion, but he knew better than to try and comfort me. He stayed where he was.

"It's okay Zoe, we'll figure it out. Sydney has been on the phone to Stanton all day. You shouldn't worry"

"It's meaningless. No one will listen to her. They think of me as a traitor now" I told him, but I had a feeling he already knew that.

Adrian knew how the alchemists' world functioned, and he knew the rules Sydney and I had no choice but to follow. He also knew how, in the eyes of the alchemists, I'd done something unforgivable and a punishment was needed to set me straight.

"Is she mad at me? I had a feeling she was going to be, but I just couldn't do it to her! I was sitting there in front of Stanton, and I realized I had to take the blame" I don't know why, but the thought of Sydney being mad at me made me more miserable than being in the re-education center was. I couldn't stand the thought of Sydney being disappointed in me.

"Zoe" Adrian said, again using that voice that forced me to listen "She doesn't care what you did. All that matters to her is whether you are okay"

Adrian's words didn't comfort me. In fact he only made me more worried. He made me feel like there was a reason to be scared.

"I don't know that either"

"That's okay" Adrian told me, and for some reason I believed him. Maybe it was his calming voice, or the fact that I would believe anyone who wasn't working with the alchemists right now.

"You said Sydney had been talking to Stanton?"

"Yeah, she's desperate to get you out of there. The good thing is that Stanton has nothing on you. She's got no proof that you and I were, eh, that you did the things you confessed to. The alchemists are getting frustrated with the lack of evidence, which hopefully means we can get you out of here soon…"

"But?" I asked, sensing it in his voice. Adrian's smile wore off, and he looked more tired than I had ever seen before.

"But even if that is the case, you've wasted their time. The alchemists don't take these things lightly"

My head was spinning from all of this, and I knew there was no way I could think straight right now.

"So what do we do?"

Adrian smiled again "I'm glad you asked. Sydney, Eddie and I have been working on a plan, something you could say that would sound believable"

"I have a feeling I am not going to like this" I said, even though I was well aware this had gone too far for me to even consider doing something I would feel comfortable doing.

"You have to tell them that you did it to get out of Palm Springs that you were so desperate to get away from us bloodsucking monsters that you had no choice but to lie and get out.

"That doesn't sound too bad" I told him with a shrug.

"Better not tell them that," Adrian said, and his voice sounded too serious. I didn't like seeing him like that. I had taken the blame to save my sister, but it felt like all I'd done was cause more trouble.

My head felt heavy after all this, and another question popped into my mind. One that had been bugging me since the start of this conversation.

"Adrian? Am I actually dreaming?" my voice didn't shake like I'd expected it too. In fact I sounded indifferent, like it really didn't matter to me.

Adrian wore a sad smile as he responded "It's a spirit dream." I nodded, having already known the answer before I asked my question.

"I have to go now, mini Sage" Adrian told me. I was still processing the fact that this was a spirit dream, and I had a new idea, I wanted to ask him about.

"Wait… if this is a spirit dream does that mean you can come back again?" I asked. Adrian turned to me surprised. He clearly hadn't expected for me to ever say anything like that. I didn't blame him, I hadn't either.

"Yes?" I could tell from his voice he had no idea where I was going.

"Come back tomorrow then. I'd like an update" plus him being here had made me feel the slightest bit better, but I wasn't about to say that out loud.

"I will. And Zoe? Don't be afraid, we'll get you out of there soon. Are they…what are they doing to you?"

"Let's just say I much prefer a spirit dream than the living nightmare they're putting me through," I whispered and the walls started fading, and I watched Adrian's lips move but couldn't make out what he was saying.

Everything went black. And then I woke up.

* * *

_**Sydney's POV**_

"So you actually talked to her?" Sydney asked. She was pacing in the living room of Clarence's mansion. All of her "family" was watching her with desperate expressions.

"Yes, we were in this very room" Adrian told her. Sydney stopped her pacing for a moment, and felt her heart ache as she looked around the room. Zoe had been in this room seconds ago, even though it had been in a dream, she felt as if the presence of her sister still lingered here. Like it would have been so easy to just reach out, and pull her back to Palm Springs.

Spirit dreams always felt very real to her.

"And she didn't freak out when she saw you?" Sydney asked, expecting her sister to.

Sydney and Zoe hadn't been on the best terms this last week. Ever since Zoe found out about Sydney and Adrian, she had acted distant and cold. Sydney understood her sister's reaction. It hadn't been that long ago she would've acted the exact same way.

Sydney had been positive Zoe hated her, and wanted to destroy her. Instead Zoe had made up a lie saying she was the one involved with a vampire, when the alchemists had sensed something not right here.

Sydney had never thought her sister had that much bravery, and while she was touched her sister had protected her, she felt angry with her.

_She _was the one supposed to be in re-education center. _She _was the one supposed to be punished for the mistakes she'd made. Not sweet, innocent Zoe. Sydney had stopped saying that out loud though, because every time she did someone would tell her she was wrong. No one wanted Zoe there, of course, but they didn't want her there either. Normally this would've touched her, but these last few hours the only emotions going through her were worry and concern for her sister.

"At the beginning yes, but I made her listen" Adrian said, and Sydney stopped her pacing.

"Was she able to tell you where they keep her?" Adrian's face fell, and she started pacing again. _No. _

"But she did tell me to come back" Adrian's voice sounded hopeful, and again Sydney was taken aback by her sister's courage.

"She _what_? She told you to come back?" Sydney met Eddie's eyes that showed the same look of wonder.

"Yes" Adrian said simply. Sydney was still looking at Eddie whose eyes seemed to say _I told you so. She's fearless. She's a lot stronger than you think. _

"Did you tell her that it was a spirit dream?" Sydney asked, still stunned from the fact that Zoe had willingly asked a vampire to see her again.

Adrian smiled "Yes. I told her, and she didn't seem to mind that much"

Sydney was still stunned "I guess… I guess you should go back tomorrow then" Sydney muttered.

Adrian smiled, and wrapped an arm around her, stopping her otherwise endless pacing.

"Everything will be okay" Adrian told her, and pecked her cheek.

Sydney wanted to believe him. She wanted her sister to be okay, but she couldn't yet. She wasn't going to pause to catch her breath before she once again held her sister in her arms. So instead of responding she just smiled.


End file.
